i have a lot of problems in my life, but the one that causes me the most grief and depression is that I am unwanted and unloved. it kills me. i don't have friends. never had a girlfriend. my family is very distant, and don't care much for me at all. when i feel wanted, needed, and loved, my depression melts away. it's amazing. i was talking to a really amazing girl. we got along really well. we talked all the time, and were really good friends. then we met, and something about me ruined it. unwanted again, so back down into the depression hole. i am positive that's what my problem is. i just want to feel wanted. i want to be able to be there for someone that wants me. it's a really dark and lonely place when you are totally unwanted in the world. and it hurts 100x time more when i had that, and ruined it because there's apparently something fundamentally wrong with me. when i have that, everything is that much better. my life might still suck, but it has purpose. i spend all of my time just trying to fill the void inside, but nothing ever works. it's just a minor distraction, if anything. just a deep black void. nothing can replace what I want. it just takes my mind off of it for a bit. temporary relief.