i want to feel wanted

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sigh__, Feb 29, 2008.

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  1. sigh__

    sigh__ Member

    i have a lot of problems in my life, but the one that causes me the most grief and depression is that I am unwanted and unloved. it kills me. i don't have friends. never had a girlfriend. my family is very distant, and don't care much for me at all.

    when i feel wanted, needed, and loved, my depression melts away. it's amazing. i was talking to a really amazing girl. we got along really well. we talked all the time, and were really good friends. then we met, and something about me ruined it. unwanted again, so back down into the depression hole.

    i am positive that's what my problem is. i just want to feel wanted. i want to be able to be there for someone that wants me. it's a really dark and lonely place when you are totally unwanted in the world. and it hurts 100x time more when i had that, and ruined it because there's apparently something fundamentally wrong with me.

    when i have that, everything is that much better. my life might still suck, but it has purpose. i spend all of my time just trying to fill the void inside, but nothing ever works. it's just a minor distraction, if anything. just a deep black void. nothing can replace what I want. it just takes my mind off of it for a bit. temporary relief.
     
  2. monty

    monty New Member

    I feel like this too.
     
  3. Peppermint

    Peppermint Member

    Yeah, I know that feeling too. It sucks.

    Most of the time I feel like a mistake in the world. If everyone else can handle the problems and everyone else has someone then it's got to be me who's faulty. I know it's true, I'm not even trying to convince myself in anything else. Experience speaks the loud, clear and painful truth. I just wonder why the hell do I have to be here if my existance is clearly a mistake...
     
  4. ColdSummer

    ColdSummer Well-Known Member

    I agree. all I need and want is love ive never had someone there for me always and i really long for that kind of affection. everyone who has ever gotten close has only hurt me :( i want love!
     
  5. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    i know where you are coming from, to feel unloved, unwanted and not needed is a lonely place to live.
     
  6. EllieThade

    EllieThade Antiquities Friend

    I understand how you feel. It really sucks to feel unwanted and unloved. With me, it only takes one person that I may even THINK doesn't want me or like me or love me to get me down to the depths of depression. Hang in there. SF is here for you and we like you and care about you.

    Ellie
     
  7. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    :smile: Hey guys ill love you all hugs
    Seriously though yes it can be a terrible feeling when you live with the thought that perhaps people dont care, but you know here at sf people do care quite genuinely about each other and we look out for one and other when we are in trouble to so its a place to start, to form bonds with people on line you will also find you are able to talk in a different way here- point being!! it helps in real life to and may make it a little easier to form friendships and relationships and in time perhaps even ask those that cause you so much pain why they did it ?

    But in the mean time ill be you chat buddy if any of you need one and i can promise you i will care take care hugs to you all xxxxx
     
  8. Pioneer

    Pioneer Well-Known Member

    Yeah I'm feeling the same way. Most of the time I feel like I don't want to be wanted. Its like I'm supposed to be this way and I only exist to make others feel better about themselves. I really really hate myself. I remember when I was talking to this beautiful girl online. I later find out that she had a boyfriends and she also talks to like thirty other guys. I felt used and unwanted.:sad:
     
  9. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I can really relate. I have no one in my life I can talk to.
     
  10. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    I'm interested in what you mean when you say that you 'ruined it because there's apparently something fundamentally wrong with me'??
    Loneliness can suck, although it's important also to work on yourself, because if you don't change then there's less chance of you making more friends. But it is hard when the majority of people find it easy to have friends and you don't.
    Unfortunately though, if you're relying solely on what other people think of you, it won't work. I am guessing that you don't like yourself. You won't likely have many friends if this is the case, but at the same time you will long for acceptance, which creates a viscious circle.
    But coming on a site like this is a good start. Do you really think there's something fundamentally wrong with you?
     
  11. zetaf

    zetaf Well-Known Member

    yea... this is how I live also. Unfortunately these feelings of inadequacy have been etched into my personality after years and years of suffering during critical times of social and physical development. I feel like I can't recover... I know what it means to be alone. It's too bad, because I think the one thing that would get me off drugs for good would be a relationship with someone that actually enjoys me the way I enjoy them. It seems that the truth, as devastating as it may be, is that it will never happen.
     
  12. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    Aye, to know that I will never be loved is one of the coldest feelings ever. To know that I'll never have that warmth of love in my life, it hurts. It's a hurt that doesn't end. It grows. It eats my soul. The loneliness surrounds me, attacks me. My soul is gone. My kindness...wasted, worthless, unwanted. My love...ignored, irrelevant.
     
  13. sigh__

    sigh__ Member

    My god... I am not doing well right now. It's been a while since I've so acutely felt the need to just not be breathing anymore. I don't know.

    Fuck... this is the worst feeling. My god, this can't be happening. I really, really hate myself. I hate everything I am, I hate how I've gotten myself into my current life situation. I hate everything.

    I am barely alive.
     
  14. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    The more you tell yourself these things, the more they will eat away at you. Depression is so debilitating for all of us here, and to have feelings circumvent around your sense of inadequacy makes it all the worse. By saying and thinking "never", you are blocking out opportunities for yourself. Instead, thinking in the present will make it easy for you to make friends and have a girlfriend. These things are meant to happen naturally, not by trying to force them to happen. A person you help, or someone you run into, or someone who talks to you could turn into a friend, who could turn into a girlfriend. You never know.

    Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean you ruined it. When people talk online, there are no awkward moments or real tests on the relationship. You can't see people's reactions, and even if you see them on webcam all the time, you're only seeing them when they're at the computer. Therefore, when you met, there was bound to be some awkward moments. And do you know what she really thought about you? Did you ask her? If not, maybe she feels the same way you do, and is too embarrassed to tell you.

    You are not unwanted in the world. Just because you are not close with your family, it doesn't mean you are unwanted. Also, most people don't even know you. How could those people make you feel unwanted? When you say "the world", it seems it is mostly you making that impression on yourself, and that can certainly be changed.

    I do too. But you know what? There is hope for you.
     
  15. Beattles

    Beattles Well-Known Member

    you speak the truth dude. someone to love, and have love received from can do a world of good.

    but i must ask, what if having a loved one dosnt help like people think it would? what if its only a short term sollution and not long term? what if you feel like this WITH your girl/boy?
     
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