I just had it out with another woman I was seeing. I'm 22 years old working full time to help support my family. I'm the oldest of 7 and the only one working to support them is my Dad and he just barely gets by. I went through a very bad break up around 3 years ago and since then I've struggled to find a steady and healthy relationship. There's a girl I'd met through my last job a few months back that started coming on really strong. I've taken her out 3 different times so far, and off and on she's constantly pressured me in to having sex with her. The problem is that I feel as though I need to get to know a person before I get to that point, but almost every woman I've been out with has put me through this. I really don't understand it. I talk, flirt, and do my best to get to know these different types of girls and that's always where it ends up. It also bothers me that she's had a history of being a bit loose with the other guys I had worked with at that time, and now she comes to me talking about starting a serious legitimate relationship. She also does drugs but claims to have stopped. I kept dodging her when she would insist that we go out together. I wanted to but I didn't want to get tied down with her knowing how she was. Anyway about an hour before I wrote this thread I canceled another date with her and she basically cursed me out telling me that I did this every time. I said that the only thing she wanted to do was fuck and do drugs and that I had a family that depended on me, so I couldn't afford to live like that. She then started calling my phone non stop because I wasn't answering and after a while she wrote me back saying that she genuinely wanted me as a boyfriend. I told her that she needed to find somebody else to do all the things she talked about doing because I had a past and I don't want to live that life anymore. My life is to these kids. She never wrote me back. I feel as though I did the right thing but at the same time I feel like crying as though I did something horrible. This is another of countless times a potential relationship has gone sour with me because of something ridiculous. I can't go to school or do any of the things I want to do hardly because I could never live with myself if I just abandoned my family like everyone else does. I'm in way over my head, but I fight on regardless and for what? People generally make me sick and I just don't know how to handle it anymore. Even people at the church I go to are socially inept, snobby, miserable asses who are barely approachable if at all. I've tried so hard to live right that I don't want to live.