Look....here's the deal. I fail at relationships. My finances are going down the toilet. I can't seem to stay sober for more than a couple of days. I am overweight. I am going to be 43 and still deliver pizza's as part of my income. I don't have the mental strength to deal with my parents, and yet I have to. Yes parts of my life are going fairly well. And I try to be strong for so many here, but in truth, I am a very weak and fragile man, and I am so tired of struggling. I dont want to die today, but I know I will soon.