i want to go home

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by justastrangegirl, Jul 3, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    I need to go home.. i cant stand being in this small town with no one to talk to and nothing to do. I moved to canada from south america to study, but people have been less than welcoming. This town is so clickey. I know its not just me, but being the only latina in school makes it even harder, since the asians have their own group, the arabic have their own group, so its just me.. and even tho i live with my bf, i feel alienated anyway.. he's loving and caring, but he spends too much time playing video games, especially at night, and when i told him to stay in bed with me at least once a week he agreed, but he never does it.. and when i tell him, he makes me feel guilty saying that he just wants something to do because i go to bed early and he is a "night person". Right now he's playing with his online friends. He apent all day at work came home 10:30 pm took a shower, watched tv with me for exactly 20 minutes and the he received a message from his "people" and got up to play.. it makes me feel, honestly, neglected, because i already spent all day alone with nothing to do and no one to talk to. When i call my mom she only talks about whats new with her and then she tells me that she will call me back but she never does... i just feel too ignored, i feel worthless and invisible.. i really hate this and i dont know what to do.. the only thing keeping me from going home is the fact that immigration has my visa because i applied for a work permit and i cant leave the country without it :'(
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It is a scary time to be in another country. What about creating new friendships locally or joining something like a club of common interest?
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I don't blame you for wanting to go home - I am sorry you are so lonely. I hope your work visa comes through soon; having a job to go to will keep you from feeling so alone in the day and you will meet some more people. I guess the school thing is hard when other people are living in dorms etc and you live with your boyfriend instead - makes it harder to make friends, but not impossible.

    I think in situations like this you have to be the person being proactive about making friends (and I know it is hard) making sure to smile and say hello to people when class starts, ask people if they want to go for a coffee after class and if they say they are going to study group or coffee with friends etc maybe a simple "I live off campus so I don't know anyone yet really - would it be okay if I came?". I know that sounds hard and uncomfortable but doing it a few times until you have a group of people to automatically hang out with is less hard than being lonely and homesick.

    As for your boyfriend, to play devils advocate I do understand that if you are just in bed and he isn't tired then spending time together in that way isn't appealing to him. Especially if - from his point of view - you are currently doing nothing all day so you could sleep in the day and not be too tired to hang out with him at night. I am not saying i think it is okay for him to ignore you for video games because I don't - but maybe a couple of times a week instead of being in bed when he gets home you could stay up, eat, watch a movie - do something together. Try to make a point of doing things together (going for brunch, going for a walk together etc) in the day time when possible also. Aside from that, be honest with him and tell him that this isn't a relationship if you never spend time together and he prefers his video game friends and that you are giving serious thought to just going home.

    Finally - if going home is actually the right choice for you and will make you happier, then go. Sometimes relationships end and if school is not enough reason to stay without your boyfriend, then it is okay to make a new choice for yourself and go home. You have the right to choose happiness for yourself.

    Last but not least - come to chat! You used to hang out there and at the least there are people there to talk to most of the time :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.