My nephew is dying. He's 7 months old and he will most likely be dead within the next two weeks. He's been dying since birth and I've prayed for a miracle, I've even offered to sell my fucking soul to the devil to take back his disease and let him live for my family's sake. To take me instead. To turn Christian, to turn Muslim, whatever fucking religion he'll listen to. I've even threatened, screamed, cried, cut myself. Nothing. How much fucking begging can someone DO??? I am so fucking sick of burying children. I'm so fucking sick of having to bury people PERIOD!!!!! I'm fucking sick of trying to be the best fucking person I can be they way I'm told, the way I'm supposed to because itfeeels right and I'm still being screwed the fuck over. What the hell have I done for him to take all my children and now my only nephew too. I want to fucking know or am I just to assume it's just me and I never shoudl have been born therefore I put a curse on the entire population of infants in my family? I can't do this anymore. I want to die, I want to stop seeing people dying and children dying because of me. I want to just stop the pain, to stop it all. I have no fucking purpose here but to cause pain to others. I want to be in heaven to hold my children,m to hold my nephew to see him without pain to see him without suffering. Please, just help me.