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I want to go to public school again but I can't...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Joshy, Jul 27, 2012.

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  1. Joshy

    Joshy Well-Known Member

    I'm turning 18 soon and I'm home-schooled. I'm in 9th grade currently.

    Why am I in 9th grade at 18? Because in 2006 (6th grade) I did a whole year of schooling and it wasn't recorded so I had to re-do the year.
    Then in 7th grade I was severely bullied, framed, and beat up a LOT, I eventually got stabbed, left school for a year, and looked for a home-school program.

    Now I've been home-schooled since I was like... 16. That's right; I spent about 1 year and half doing the work VERY SLOWLY and avoiding it because I was still too depressed about how I was bullied, and how lonely I was with no friends or any possible way of entering the 'social scene' and making friends.

    I still can't make friends because I don't know anyone. And I tried entering back into local public school, but I can't because now I'm too fucking old.
    And I'm VERY depressed because I'll never experience High-School, I'll never experience a prom, I've NEVER been to a field trip, or an event in reward for doing a good job on a test or anything, and I'll never make or find friends easily or talk to people. I'm socially inept and isolated in my room with a pile of papers that I don't even feel motivated to do anymore. I'm considering dropping out of Home-School High-School, and just fucking quitting it. I had a plan to help pay the rent for an apartment with my 1 and only neighborly friend Alex. (He's public-schooled and about to finish High-School. )

    I just don't know what to do anymore
    . I can't do what I want to do, and I don't feel like finishing my education if there's nothing around to encourage me, challenge me, nothing to laugh about, nothing worth it at all if I'm doing it all by my fucking self...
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Joshy, I went to public school.

    I was bullied.
    I had very few friends.
    I didn't go to prom... because I couldn't afford to, and I wouldn't have been able to find a date anyway.
    In fact, I didn't go to a single school dance, ever. Because no girl would have gone with me.
    I was made fun of and socially isolated.
    I didn't even go to my own graduation ceremony.
    Not like it matters... nobody in my family would have come to support me anyway. And most of the people in my graduating class didn't even know who I was, because I switched high schools my senior year.
    I picked up my diploma in the office, and never saw 99% of those people again.

    You're not missing a goddamn thing.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hiya...How frustrated you must be feeling! Is there a law preventing you from attending the local high school or is it the understandable awkwardness of most of the classes being younger than you? That sense of difference would likely go away after a few weeks. And the more mature classmates wouldn't bat an eye and would just accept you.

    If you are not allowed into the day program for some reason, how about looking into night classes for adults? Those would still give you some of the important benefits of regular high school: making friends, interacting in a classroom, getting the rest of the high school credits under your belt.

    Many school boards or community colleges also "interest courses/personal development courses" that might be interesting and helpful. Things like assertiveness training, overcoming shyness, public speaking, various modern dance classes (jazz, swing, salsa, etc.) and these all focus on skills and offer plenty of social interactions.

    I hope you can find a way to make some plans to get those credits and some of the high school experiences you long for. :hug:
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I should have given proper advice like Acy did instead of letting my own personal experiences cloud my judgment...

    You don't have to finish high school in order to take community college courses. It may not be exactly the same as the high school experience, but you'll get to meet people and, depending on the classes you take, you might get to go on "field trip" sort of activities and get awards and such for your achievements.

    I actually don't recall any field trips or award ceremonies in high school... pep rallies, football games, school dances, yes... but the last field trip I remember taking was in elementary school, and the only award ceremonies I've been to were one for my high school wrestling team (only open to those on the team) and one at my community college for a writing contest I entered.
  5. Joshy

    Joshy Well-Known Member

    Well I remember my mother tried to call in the district schools to ask if I was able to get in and they said no because of my age, so I guess it is some sort of law here or something. Which really sucks.. :/

    But I might try the GED thing.. But I'm not sure if I'm even qualified or smart enough to even take it since I've been slacking off and I don't learn anything from my homework.
  6. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    There may be adult education classes at a YMCA or some community college that you can try for. Those you don't have to finish high school and it would still give you some of the experiences.

    I know exactly what you're going through. I was taken out of school when I was in the 6th grade due to bullying. I remember all through high school missing the school experience but never could get back in there (without feeling I was tearing up my family over that decision). I finally graduated from high school when I was 20-21 because I just kept refuseing to do it, in some kinda weird rebellion that didn't work. So I know exactly how you feel!
  7. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    You don't need a GED or a diploma to take community college courses. You may have to pass placement tests before you can be qualified for the 100 level (beginning college level) courses, and depending how you do on those tests, you may have to take refresher courses in the form of like level 90 math (high school level). The thing is, you can actually complete your high school education at a community college, and once you pass those courses, they allow you to move on to college level coursework. You can attend community college at any age - that is exactly what they are there for, is for continuing adult education. It is never too late to get an education. There were 60-year-olds in some of my classes. In spite of what many people believe, education is not a limited window of opportunity... it is always open! There are guys that I work with who are in their 30s and are just now completing their bachelor's degrees. If education is your biggest worry, you can relax, because there will always be options available to you, no matter what your age or education level is.
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