I want to go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bruces, Nov 18, 2014.

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  1. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I've had enough of life I can't be bothered with it anymore I have depression and ocd,and I'm so bored I can't do the things I want to because of my ocd I hate my job and where I live,I have nothing going on into life everyday is the same boredom,I want death but feel so guilty about what it's do to my family,I wish there was an easy way out,if only I was never born.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you are feeling so low right now Bruce OCD is very hard one to live with. Have you talked to your doctor about changing up your medication lately or getting into some therapy to help reduce the depression your are feeling and to help also with OCD There are new treatments now for OCD ask your doc about it ok
     
  3. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I just wish euthanasia was available in this country I don't have a life merely an existance.
     
  4. fishman

    fishman Member

    Bruces hang in there I can relate with your feelings. I have two kids that are keeping me going. I often wish they hated me so I could end my life.
     
  5. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Life with depression and ocd is no life nothing more than a miserable existance wish I had bottle to kill myself but I don't so I'm kinda doing it slowly by chain smoking and drinking as much as possible every night
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Bruces, hang in there buddy, I know people will tell you all the time that things will get better- I am living proof of that. Long story short I was sexually abused and bullied and became a recluse for years. I got better and I know a lot of other people who got better too, no giving up! There's also a chat room here if you want to talk in ''real time''. About your OCD, people usually have certain things they HAVE to do with OCD for me it was dyeing my hair until parts of it fell out. What is it for you?

    Also try and quit the alcohol, it's bad news for someone who is already depressed, trust me it will make you worse. You are going through a rough time, you can get through it safely xxx
     
  7. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I've been up and down since I was 15 so now that I'm nearly 40 I know my brain isn't ever going to change so I've got god knows how many more years of misery to look forward to,if only I'd never been born !
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, sorry for late reply(well,kinda late) this thread never showed up in new posts for some reason.

    40 is young by everyone's standards, the fact you have made it this far feeling this bad is an achievement in itself. I know the saying ''you can't teach an old dog new tricks'' but I don't believe that is the case here. Have you ever sought professional help? You have been suffering way way way too long. It's time to face your fears, we're behind you, you can do this.

    Petal.
     
  9. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    Hi yes I've had allsorts therapy,meds just about everything,I find it hard to live a life that you don't want?
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Life may be boring,lonely and of no real purpose or meaning, you just have to stay strong and keep digging into something you enjoy until you find the gold :)

    I do sympathize with you, life is hard and cruel but there are positives.
     
  11. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I hate thinking of how much of my life has been wasted on being worthless because of how I am.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Looking back will make you fall deeper and deeper into depression. Start with small goals and keep moving forward. Everyone has potential, maybe it was not wasted after all if you are still with us? There is a positive in every negative. :)
     
  13. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I think this time there really is no hope :(
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you feel that way :(

    I'm curious though, how many medications did you try? Did you find any of them helped even a bit? What about the therapies, was that lately? Because they're bringing new types out all the time. There is hope, please hold onto that.
     
  15. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Bruces you are important. Please do not think anything different. I know what you feel but you life is important. I'm so sorry to see you in pain but please believe you are not alone in suffering. We all care about you. There is always a glimmer of hope however small it is. Please do not do anything.
     
  16. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I know I'm important to my family but the fact remains I'm actually useless I can't do anything my ocd prevents me from doing my trade as a mechanic I'm truly worthless
     
  17. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Bruces, I would urge you to seek more help reagrding the OCD issue if it's preventing you from doing the trade you love. There has to be something that can help.
     
  18. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I've had cbt but it didn't work for me,also I worry about so many other things
     
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    OCD and anxiety usually come hand in hand so that's not unusual, sorry to hear CBT could not help you, have you tried DBT (I haven't myself but have seen a lot of people talking about it). What about anti anxiety medications, are they any good?
     
  20. ToughItOut

    ToughItOut Member

    It's not just that. As he says, life can be "nothing more than a miserable existance"......you don't need pain or anything that makes itself obvious......if you get up in the morning with nothing to look forward to, you're going to look for a way out.
     
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