I want to go

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KatyKate, Sep 29, 2010.

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  1. KatyKate

    KatyKate Antiquities Friend

    I've had to log on here today because I can't deal with the way i'm feeling anymore. The medication doesn't work...it doesn't numb my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. I'm going through a really tough time due to being suspended from my job...had vile allegations made against me which have devestated me and ripped out my heart. I can't go out and am isolating myself from my friends, not that I have many...I don't trust people enough to make new friends. I feel so alone and a failure, and just want the pain to end. I'm forty next year..have no realtionship, but a string of failed ones behind me, I have no children...which makes my heart ache. My whole life has been a complete mess and I have failed everyone around me. Why can't i get myself together...the thought that I would be better off dead is with me constantly, but i'm scared to end my life (it's not much of one). I'm not living anymore anyway just exisiting and its a horrible place to be in. How do I get through this when my life has no meaning anymore, all I want to do is run, but run to where because i'm still the same me and the problems won't just disappear. Whats the point suffering all this pain?
     
  2. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    that sounds like you have just read my life history, apart from the fact that i am 40. I'm really sorry you feel like that. must admit i feel the same. it's horrible.
     
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