I want to hurt myself or others

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rpiccola08, Jun 26, 2008.

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  1. rpiccola08

    rpiccola08 Guest

    I'm new here. Well, I guess I never thought I'd find myself appealing to a website called the Suicide Forum for help.
    Well, I'm 18 years old. I've been depressed on and off for most of my teenage life, but it's gotten severe over the last couple of months. I constantly, and I mean constantly, think, plan, wish about hurting myself or others. I have nothing left to live for, except to take care of my mom, whom is the only person I love (or whom loves me for that matter). I'm not going to college, because I can't afford it and it's a waste of time, I have no friends, no girlfriend, no job, and my family (except my mom) hates me.
    I just feel like an utter failure. I've lost all empathy for people, and am so mean to everybody when I don't mean to be. I would cheer up tremendously if I just had a friend or two, but I can't get close to anybody and my hate for humanity just grows and grows. I usually fall asleep most nights thinking about how I'd like to take revenge on the world, and what people will say about me when I'm dead.
    Well I can usually express myself better than this, but my mind is congested, and I'm sorry this came out all f***** up. Thanks for listening.

    I'm also sorry if this is triggering. I understand how emotionally unsettling those threads can be, and I'm sincerely sorry if this came out that way. Like I said, this is my first post, so cut me some slack.
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. If you ever need someone to talk to. Feel free to pm me.

    You say you have no friends or girlfriend or anything, do you have any hobbies? Anything you're particularly good at. If you've got no job and no one tying you down, it could be a good time to explore something like that.

  3. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I definitely will cut you some slack :smile:. JK. If you ever need a friend, I know I don't know you or anything, but I really am a good listener. I've been telling everyone that but not very many people take me up on that offer. I know how it is to have your whole family hate you, my family hates me because of one mistake. And they don't EVER let me forget. Sucks ass but, oh well. Life goes on.
  4. ghosty11

    ghosty11 Guest

    definitely get a job and definitely understand you arent the only one and definitely understand we all have problems just dont let it get to your head.
  5. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    :welcome: to the forum here. please feel free to pm me if you'd like. it's hard to accept when the family doesn't dig on ya i've been there done that one too. it can create bitterness for sure. i'm glad to hear mom loves on ya though count on mom. anyways like i said if you want to pm please certainly feel free. i usually stop in daily for a while. anyways please take care and stay safe.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...so often, ppl are enraged about the degree of pain they experience...have you consulted anyone to see if you can find a safe place to discuss this? also, here at SF, we have so many ppl who would understand what you are going through, and maybe you can find a 'friend' here...big hugs, J
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums. Hope you meet some people who can relate to you and in turn make some friends also.
  8. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well, i must say, the things you said are not really uniq only to you...
    Many of us here have problems, and we are all here becouse (i guess) we cant cope with them, or dont want to.
    Anyways, as for me i do know how you feal!

    Im 23 years old, from Ukraine, and my name is Andrew
    If you will tell me your hobbyes maybe there will be things we can talk about.
    you can PM me if you like, im here, most of the day.
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