I've been completely miserable. I'm trying to stop, but I can't. I find new ways to harm myself, at first I cut myself...but that got too much attention so then I started to hit myself, but that got too loud, and now I drink till I get sick. I just want to do anything I can so I don't feel this pain inside. This emotional pain is worse then anything physical. I don't care if people say that's bull. Right now I have a knife by my computer and the only thing I want to do is cut myself again. I haven't cut in a while but I just feel like it will be better then feeling like my heart is going to explode in my chest. I can't stop crying. It's 3 am and...fuck it...this isn't helping gotta turn to the only thing that will help.