I want to hurt myself

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by effervescentpsyche, Aug 31, 2011.

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  1. effervescentpsyche

    effervescentpsyche Well-Known Member

    I've been completely miserable. I'm trying to stop, but I can't. I find new ways to harm myself, at first I cut myself...but that got too much attention so then I started to hit myself, but that got too loud, and now I drink till I get sick. I just want to do anything I can so I don't feel this pain inside. This emotional pain is worse then anything physical. I don't care if people say that's bull. Right now I have a knife by my computer and the only thing I want to do is cut myself again. I haven't cut in a while but I just feel like it will be better then feeling like my heart is going to explode in my chest. I can't stop crying. It's 3 am and...fuck it...this isn't helping gotta turn to the only thing that will help.
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you. :hug: With care and support....Mr. A
  3. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    i kno exactly how u feel, tho, sadly, the 'release' from cutting, to me at least, doesnt last too long. tho yeah, sometimes even a moment of feeling better feels like worth wrecking urself up..
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dam i do know that pain hun cutting it won't last you need to let it out cry scream do you have therapy hun call someone a councillor the crisis line and just talk Sometimes hearing a compassionate voice help hun hugs
  5. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    What really helps me to push out the thoughts is to listen to music, especially songs that reflect the mood that i'm in. It keeps your mind occupied, and lasts much longer than the short relief you get from cutting. Also, try to remove anything you can use to hurt yourself. If you don't have anything to cut with, then you can't cut yourself.
  6. dawgfan

    dawgfan New Member

    Oh effervescentpsyche, I can't imagine how helpless you feel. You hate hurting yourself, but letting go of the only control you feel you have must seem like a terrifying thing to do! It's become a kind of best friend -- something to hold on to when everything else in life hurts.

    To stop this pain you're feeling on so many levels, ya gotta ask for help...someone compassionate enough to walk with you thru all that you're feeling. Find a counselor, call the crisis line...anything is better than going thru this alone!

    If you get the urge to cut again, find a sketchbook, some magazines, glue and scissors, and create a collage. Form words like "pain," "freedom,", "trapped," and "anxiety" to fill the page using a lot of color. Sometimes this kind of creativity can be helpful and it keeps your hands occupied in a healthy way.

    Take care friend.

  7. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    Psyche- sorry to say, but from experience I can tell you that cutting, or any form of self injury, is only going to be a temporary release. Kind of like a drug. I know that feeling, every second that goes by is more agony you can't bear. But cutting is just going to lead to more pain, more seclusion and more feelings of being alone.
  8. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    to:pancake111 i dont think hiding items u can hurt urself with rly helps, u can always find something to cut with when ur rly desperate.
    i once did throw out all my razors thinking the same thing u said, but then i ended up eventually breaking a mirror to get broken glass, so yea..
  9. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    I've felt that way too, that I'd prefer physical pain over emotional pain, and I did self inflict pain before to try to stop from feeling that way, but it didn't make it go away, now I have bruises that will never heal, always to remind me of what I did, and what I was going through. No one knows this, this is the first time I've spoken of it. So yes, I get it. You just want to quit hurting, it doesn't matter what form of pain it is, it hurts regardless. It's like when I am having a bad day with my physical pain, I have on quite a many of occassions, overdosed, to knock myself unconscious, so I wouldn't hurt anymore. Not the best way of dealing with things though. In the end, it always makes everything worse. I was drinking every day just so I could feel dead inside, ended up trying to kill myself. Now I'm so down physically, I can't pick myself back up. Carma kicking me one in the butt. It doesn't pay to respond to things in a harmful way. You'll continue down that path of feeling miserable.
  10. LostNerd

    LostNerd Well-Known Member

    I agree with pancake111 (Quoted above).

    Music is a huge outlet for me also, it may help you. Give it a try :)

    Much hugs! :hug:

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