I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this shape

[wastedmylife]

Lots of people, doctors veterinarians, therapists

Alot of people led me to this shape I am in, I guess I blame myself in some way because I am a coward and listened to their lies and manipulation

How do I go on with this, my life is essentially over, now the only thing I think of is suicide, however my mind stops when I think of these people that led me to the shape I am in

I know I will be put in a mental hospital when I talk about harming others

I dont know how to go on, I guess I blame myself for not sticking up for myself

I wish I could be free of the pain others inflicted on me, and accept responsibility, but it isnt there, if I just kill myself it will show what a pathetic coward I am and have been my whole life, which is why these people were able to walk all over me and lead me to the shape I am in

But then again these people are the people you are supposed to trust

Other people as well, people who I wont even say on here

I am fucking confused, I was a good person but this cruel world got the best of me now I am bitter and angry, because I am essentially dead, there is no turning back for me I am dead, and I dont know what to do, just kill myself or perhaps die in a murder suicide

 

[wunderwood]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

I'm sorry you are feeling like this and that people hurt you.

I am a bit curious to hear how a veterinarian lied and manipulated you.

Hang in there and keep talking, you aren't alone

 

[Dave_N]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

I am fucking confused, I was a good person but this cruel world got the best of me now I am bitter and angry, because I am essentially dead, there is no turning back for me I am dead, and I dont know what to do, just kill myself or perhaps die in a murder suicide

I know you don't like me wastedmylife, but I won't give up on you. The way I see it, you have two choices. You can either blame the world for your situation and sink further and further into depression, or you can accept the garbage that you have had to deal with and make the best of your situation. The choice is yours my friend. :smile:

 

[Stranger1]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

Hey WML,
Why don't you get a puppy so you have someone who depends on you. I was down on myself like you are. One day my therapist told me to get a puppy, so I did. Then I asked myself what the fuck have I done. It took about a month to get to the spot where I started feeling anything for him. He eventually got ahold of my heart and gave me a little lift.
He knows when I am down because he comes and lays down next to me when I am at my lowest. I never smile because it was drilled into me all my life. He gets smiles out of me. Give it a try and see if it doesn't help you!!~Joseph~

 

[wastedmylife]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

Hey WML,
Why don't you get a puppy so you have someone who depends on you. I was down on myself like you are. One day my therapist told me to get a puppy, so I did. Then I asked myself what the fuck have I done. It took about a month to get to the spot where I started feeling anything for him. He eventually got ahold of my heart and gave me a little lift.
He knows when I am down because he comes and lays down next to me when I am at my lowest. I never smile because it was drilled into me all my life. He gets smiles out of me. Give it a try and see if it doesn't help you!!~Joseph~

ha I had a dog, but he was more or less the reason I got to the shape I am in

This really sucks, I was a salvagable person about 8 months ago and I reached out for help but there was no help to be found, I had asked psycholigists for appointments but they wouldnt see me cuz I had no health insurance and couldnt pay $100 an hour , I saw a really shitty therapist and I got worse in treatment with him then I had my life changing experience which probably never would have happened if I had got help sooner and would have been happier

Whatever I am dead right now and I dont know what to do, I cant go on like this and I know that is for sure, I am bitter and angry about things but I dont know if I should die in a murder suicide or just kill myself

 

[wastedmylife]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

if I wasnt consumed with so much hate it would be easier to kill myself

 

[Acy]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

I'm so sorry to hear the pain you're in. Life can throw a lot of hard times at people. From experience, I can tell you that anger and hate, no matter who we direct them at (others or ourselves), stalls us. I found that when I let go of the negative feelings, I was able to move into a brighter spot. I hope you can do that, too. Please don't harm/kill yourself - stay safe! :hug:

 

[DrowningInTears]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

Is there any way to get revenge by being happy and successful in life? Show that they have not defeated you and their attempts to seal you in misery fail. That's what im tryin to do anyways for the people who want me destroyed and ruined.

 

[Oak]

Re: I want to kill myself so bad but I cant get over the people who put me in this sh

Revenge has never been something I am for, but a good anger management seems to be in order in your case. Have you look into this option?
AS it was said you have two options. Accept it and make the best of it or be mad at the world and be miserable.

Good luck hun