but cannot, as I can't do that damage to my kids and family, and my dogs. I am forced to stay alive and hate that. I do no good to anyone but I have to keep on getting up every damn day and carrying on as if I had a useful purpose inliving. I hate my life and that I am compelled to keep on living - for what? I see no way out. I am condemned to go on. and all I do is harm to those I love.