I want to kill myself

[Giddy Ian]

I want to do it, for my entire 17 years of my miserable life I have never once felt loved, everyone I have ever known has either not cared about me or hated me.

Don't ask why cus I really don't know, I'm just some average 17 year old boy that likes video games, girls, music, and talking just like everyone else. But for some reason people just seem to ignore whenever I'm around and pretend I'm not there. It's not like I'm just standing there. I say hello and smile and try to start conversations. Usually people pretend to care when I'm talking to them. But usually they try to end it short and never say hi to me whenever I'm around so it's usually just me saying hello and them forgetting about me or trying to ignore me.

Bah none of that matters, the fact is I've been alone my entire life and nobody seems to care. It doesn't matter how many new places I go to or how many new people I meet. It's just a universal fact or something that people can't enjoy my company.

I'm done with this life

 

[camerondavid]

Don't kill yourself. I'm sure there are at least a few people out there who really care about you. I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a pretty cool dude. We all feel that way sometimes, that no one really cares about us and that everyone is just acting to like us. And we convince ourselves that the world is pretty much out to get us, when in all reality, there are tons of people out there who care about and love us. Sure, they may not show it in the right way. But, you can't exactly blame them for not being perfect. Just hang in there. I'm sure it will get better eventually. It may not be tomorrow or next month. But, it'll happen. Once you get out of school and move to a totally different place with a different surrounding and a different way of life and lots of totally different people. I'm sure it won't be the same. Just don't kill yourself. Prove that you're strong and stick in there. Don't be one that gives up on life. It's just not cool.

 

[Giddy Ian]

You think I honestly care if it's not cool or not, I've been alone for so long I can't think straight anymore I don't even feel like the world is real it's like I'm still dreaming because I honestly don't understand why I try so hard and everyone hates me. How can someone live life for 17 years and nobody has ever given a 2nd shit about what I feel or how I'm doing.

I don't even know how to put it into words, guess I'll go to the grave with these feelings of nothingness. let me die

 

[camerondavid]

So, what makes you think that everyone hates you? Have they flat out said "I hate you."? How can you be so sure what you're seeing is real?

 

[miracletome]

i feel the same way sometimes too...
when i say hi to people, i actually want to become friends with them but maybe they dont realize or think as just a person randomly saying hi.

im sure you have friends that <3 you. and a lot of other people feel the same way too about other people.

 

[Austere Night]

You came here. Why? Just to report you're never going to be happy? No. You came here, subconsciously or otherwise, because some small part of you has hope.

Now before you do anything, ask yourself a few serious questions.

Are you being biased in saying nobody cares for you? Do you not have a loving parent or sibling? In other words, who might show up at your funeral if you did do it?

Is trying so hard what turns people away? Somethings cannot be forced, they must occur naturally. I'm sure if you took a more natural approach, the wait would be excruciating but the fruit would be wonderful. Most people I know couldn't care less about me or see me as insane. (They are partially correct, but for the wrong reason. They hate me because I rock the boat and believe controversial things.) and I don't try to get close to them. I just coast along, and have picked up precious few friends for it, but I still have someone I can call friend.

Is it really important to you what other people think of you? It is for most people, but you may be one of the anomalies that sees value in other things. I prefer academics to people, but I know I'm in the minority on that.

Try drafting a suicide note. Seeing what regrets you have and whom you are sorry to is done easily when you consider what would happen after your death.

 

[Giddy Ian]

So, what makes you think that everyone hates you? Have they flat out said "I hate you."? How can you be so sure what you're seeing is real?

My parents said that to me actually. Nobody seems to ever a give a shit when I'm talking to them also."not caring" facial expressions is a common look I see. And most of the time I can get a hint that a person doesn't like talking with me.

 

[Dave_N]

Hi Ian. People ignore me all the time. It's no reason to want to end your life. Plus you don't need them to be happy. If your parents actually told you that they hated you, then they are just not very nice people. You're only 17 and you have many good years ahead of you. Don't give up. :hug:

 

[Giddy Ian]

Thanks guys I feel better.

God bless you guys:-o

I know things will probably be the same tomorrow and the day after. But I gotta try right:mellow:

 

[camerondavid]

My parents said that to me actually. Nobody seems to ever a give a shit when I'm talking to them also."not caring" facial expressions is a common look I see. And most of the time I can get a hint that a person doesn't like talking with me.

Well, I'm sorry about that. Your parents really shouldn't say that to you. That's their problem, not yours. It's not your fault that they're asses. Don't punish yourself for what they do to you. Just pick your head up, ignore what they say, and go on with life.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Don't give up. You've been unfortunate not to meet people who you would click with, these things do happen. I'm sure if you keep going out and making conversations and socializing then it will eventually happen for you.

 

[Stranger1]

You need to cut a little slack on your parents because they were raised differently! That is the way they were brought up so they are trying to do the same to you. They don't realize that that shit don't cut it nowadays!! I'm not saying that you have to give in to them. Just let them stew in there own thoughts...When I was your age they booted me out because I was driving my mom crazy because I was coming home stoned all the time. My mom slapped me in the face and my reaction was I balled up my fist and drew it back before I realized it was her. So I dropped it and went in my room and closed the door and lied down.Next thing I knew My dad came bursting in the room and snatched my ass out of bed and told me if I ever raise my hand at her again he would kill me!! I hope you find the peice you are looking for...Take Care...:chopper:...