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I want to kill myself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mylifeiscrap, Dec 11, 2008.

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  1. mylifeiscrap

    mylifeiscrap New Member

    Why do I want to kill myself? I'm 24 years old and never had a girlfriend. I don't know if I'm attractive or not. No one ever said that I was ugly but no one ever said I was hot. I don't know why I can't connect with women. I make guy friends easily. I'm funny, smart, very good a mingling with people and know how to keep a conversation going. It seems no girls give me a second look or show that they're interested. It's really hard to explain, but I'm tired of it. Many of my classmates from high school are married, in a serious relationship, or dating. I have no one and never had anyone.

    The real reason why I want to kill myself because I'm beginning to have psychotic thoughts. I see myself killing beautiful women and guys that get all the chicks. I'm beginning to want to destroy other people and I don't want to become a monster. I'd rather kill myself. I hate college girls who are so pretty and I know they never date me. I hate to be at work when some girl gets flowers or balloons. I hate seeing a couple on the street. I really feel as though at some point in my life I will go over the edge and commit horrible, horrible acts.
  2. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Two things - I'm sorry you've ended up where you have. Second - talk with a therapist. They can help you with the issues you're describing.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Mylifeiscrap,

    welcome to SF :hug: I am glad you found us!

    Please see a counselor about the thoughts you are having :hug:

    why is having a girlfriend so important to you right now?
  4. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    People are designed to be together..but when feeling 'alone' ask your self if its better to be alone then with some one you don't like or don't trust. These thoughts are certainly something that you need to address and talk about with someone, that way you can at least get a second opinion and maybe you could have a female therapist and she can talk you through issues you are having.
  5. freefalling

    freefalling Active Member

    I was 26 before I met my soulmate.Prior to that I never had a relationship to speak of - one night stands and casual things.What I am sayin is that you are still very young and you never know when love is going to hit you.You seem to be obsessed with ur inability to have a fulfilling relationship and this in turn is leading to ur unhealthy thoughts.Give uself a break man and just enjoy been young and one day son you to will meet the right person for you.
  6. mylifeiscrap

    mylifeiscrap New Member

    I don't know why I'm obsessed. Maybe it's because the older I get then the harder it will be? There are other issues in my life that's making me suicidal. I wish that I could see a therapist but I don't have therapist money.
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Alot of counselling centers will have a sliding scale, but if the thoughts get really strong in the meantime you can always just show up at the ER. It's scary, but there is a psych there 24/7 for you to talk to. Better to get help now than do something to harm yourself or another person.
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