I feel helpless right now.. Legitimately helpless so I just went to www.help.com and came here, and surprisingly, it’s a site. This may be somewhat long. I apologize, but I really, really need help. My parents split up when I was 15, after 26 years. My father always gave me everything I could ever want.. I went through a depression state. I think honestly, I’m still in one. I fucked up my sophmore year. Didn’t pass anything.. then moved to another state with my mom and her boyfriend.. got straight A’s there, until they broke up and we moved BACK to where we orignally were, and my mother didn’t want to put me back in school again.. Now, it’s a new school year. I went to go try to attempt finishing school.. but I hate it. I can’t force myself to go anymore.. I hate EVERYTHING about school.. So, the first week I decided I would get my GED and just quit.. Now it’s september, almost october.. I havent studied for my GED, my mom won’t even buy me a book to study for it.. I have to get a 525 on the test JUST to be able to get into college.. something I really, really want to do and I feel like my life is going NO WHERE. This morning, I tried to tell my mother that I wanted to go to a special school, it’s advanced in credits and would help me since i’m so far behind.. but she just doesn’t wan to hear it. She doesn’t want to “deal” with me being back in school again, she wants me to just get my GED and be done with school and she won’t even respect the fact that I actually WANT to get a High School Diploma.. What doesn't help is I have a boyfriend in New York, I am in Tennessee.. and he always makes comments about how I "took the easy way out." and how disappointed he is in me. that's what brought on this depression.. he just started college, and I haven't even finished highschool yet.. and all I want is to be with him and make him happy, but I can't ever do that.. especially now that he's constantly bringing up the fact that I dropped out of school.. I told him everything I was feeling and how badly I wanted to die, and turned my phone off because I don't even want to see his responce.. I'm embarrassed by it. I feel like i’m going to grow up, and be misreble. No education, no job, living with my parents on the computer all day.. I feel like jumping off a bridge, or crashing my car purposely to kill myself.. I don’t know what else to do, I feel so hopeless right now.. I have no idea where to start, what to do, I feel so stressed out over my future.. What am I suppose to do? I want to be a teacher, or something in computers.. but without an education, I can’t do either of those.. I just feel like killing myself at this point.. Taking a bunch of my mothers heart pills, going and getting in a crash on the interstate.. I feel left behind by life and I just really, really want to die.