I want to kill myself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Angel12, Sep 18, 2012.

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  1. Angel12

    Angel12 Active Member

    I want to die I can't take it anymore. Everyday I have people who tell me to go fuck myself and just die...maybe I should do just that. People look like me as if I am a freak of nature. They will laugh at me and do all stort of nasty things to me now my dad is joining in on the wagon.

    Today he told me that I have problems and was a burden on him financially. He told me the reason why I haven't gotten a job because I was too lazy. If I have a job then I could help him around the house with the financial stuff. He told me that I wasn't normal and different than everybody else is because of my genetic disorder.

    He say if I hate him so much "why don't you move out of the house"? He claims I hate him because I am always starting fights and arguments with him (even though I am not) He blame me for his day being ruined. My dad claims he knew I was going to fight with him on his week off. He ask me if I want to have a real fight with him.

    I am sure my dad love me but he doesn't realized what I have to go through. Each and every day is a struggle for me from the time I get up to the minute I go to bed. Everydady I always have people who laugh at me. They tell me that I am an asshole, a freak, a monster, a retard e.g

    When people are laughing at me and calling me stupid. People are trying to hurt me in every way imagine.

    I have one guy who threaten to fuck me up if I talk to his girlfriend. He claims I sound "retarded" on the phone

    Another guy threaten to put a bullet in the back of my head and say he is going to keep a close eye on me. He claims to be a "Vampire slayer."

    One women told me go fuck myself and start comparing me to Ted Bundy. She claim to be in contact with Space Aliens.

    One girl stop being my friend on the Internet and told me never to contact her again. Because she claims I did not care if she was getting death threats from the future. She called me a hypocrite a pharisees, a snake e.g She claims to be a "Prophet of God" and, she will leave a army in the future.

    Now I my dad jumping in on the wagon being blunt with me claiming I look like a insane person from a mental hospital. It's hurts having your own family member saying this to your face.

    Nobody is ever really nice to me everyday people pick on me and bullying me because I look different than everybody else. The only time when people are being nice to me is when they are laughing at me. I have people who told me I am worthless and the only good thing I am for is a punching bag.

    I been trying to hold this in for months and overcoming on my problems. But...I can't take it anymore I feel a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. Sorry for this but today hasn't been a good day for me. I haven't
     
  2. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    hey, i'm really sorry all of this is happening to you. you seem to have a lot of crazy people in your life, but i don't think you yourself are crazy. i just want you to know that there is no person who is 'worthless'. everybody has their flaws [and also good points, which you sometimes just have to find]. bullies can choose basically anyone to pick on. bad things could be said about anyone, this doesn't make you worth any less than them. and well, people claiming to be 'prophets of God' or friends with aliens are very likely the crazy ones.
    and if you think there is nobody else who cares about you, then i care about you. feel free to message me or just reply here if there's anything else you want to 'unload'. and i do very much hope that you will keep holding on to life. it is very much worth it, even though it's hard. if you did kill yourself because crazy people tell you to 'go die', you would just be doing what they want, right? but there is no reason to do what they want, do what you yourself want, what makes you happy.

    wishing the very very best to you^^
    -EijiSama~
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you have been treated the way you have, It's too easy to tell you to not give up, but I will say and mean it anyway. I don't know you, but those people, including your father are wrong. I would like to believe we all have something to bring to this world, and you are no exception. Just know that you aren't alone.
     
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