I want to leave

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by blugurrl, Apr 11, 2011.

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  1. blugurrl

    blugurrl Member

    Why is this place so complicated and painful. Why can't we just live our lives but we have to have money,careers, have to deal with insurance, and taxes and fear of taxes, aggressive people, the horrors of what people do to others and animals and everything. I can't take the pressure. I hate myself I don't want to be here I want to go home, not where I was born on this Earth but where I was before. I seem to mess up everything and I just keep losing things in my life, people, career, youth, I don't want to get old. I don't want to be poor and alone. I hate that I have to spend all my money on things that I don't have to have to exist. I am scared of everything. I want it to stop. I want to stop, not be me, not be here. I put on a strong front, I tried and I can't anymore. Too many losses, not enough positive and I am a big fraud. I hide so know one knows how bad it is, what is really going on behind my door. I lie all the time. I have never belonged here, I want to leave. It isn't fair, there are so many people who want to be here, want one more day. Why can't I give them mine and I will go.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...so glad you found us...sounds like you are taking on so many things...and yes, it is very difficult to function feeling as you do...please talk to someone about how you are doing and continue to post here as there are so many ppl here and many of us have felt as you have written...welcome again, J
     
  3. Caster

    Caster Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. I think you're very fortunate to have found this site. There are a lot of great people here who are caring and empathetic and can help you sort stuff out and feel less overwhelmed.

    And please know you're not alone. I hope you find lots of support here. Hugs.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi you seems you are looking at all the negatives in life there are positves You have to stop looking at all the darkness and see the kindness in this world There are so many who reach out and help who care. I hope you are getting some help with meds therapy to change some of those thoughts of yours depression does that distorts our way of seeing things I am glad you are here getting some support but please reach out to your doc too okay hugs
     
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