Why is this place so complicated and painful. Why can't we just live our lives but we have to have money,careers, have to deal with insurance, and taxes and fear of taxes, aggressive people, the horrors of what people do to others and animals and everything. I can't take the pressure. I hate myself I don't want to be here I want to go home, not where I was born on this Earth but where I was before. I seem to mess up everything and I just keep losing things in my life, people, career, youth, I don't want to get old. I don't want to be poor and alone. I hate that I have to spend all my money on things that I don't have to have to exist. I am scared of everything. I want it to stop. I want to stop, not be me, not be here. I put on a strong front, I tried and I can't anymore. Too many losses, not enough positive and I am a big fraud. I hide so know one knows how bad it is, what is really going on behind my door. I lie all the time. I have never belonged here, I want to leave. It isn't fair, there are so many people who want to be here, want one more day. Why can't I give them mine and I will go.