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I want to live but I know I can't

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by blu dragonfly, Mar 19, 2016.

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  1. blu dragonfly

    blu dragonfly New Member

    I'm not sure what kind of a crisis this qualifies as. I've donated thousands of dollars over the years, to charities. crowdfunding, and individuals. When I had money, I was generous, and it seemed like the right thing to do, at the time. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm broke, starving, in the middle of a move from an abusive situation, and I've asked for help but can't get it. Suddenly, the world I tried to make a better place has abandoned me.

    I hope you can understand I've tried all my options for where I live; I need help that isn't coming.

    I need to take psych meds with food and I have no food or money or transportation. I'm on my 3rd day without my psych meds and I'm afraid I'm going to get psychotic and suicidal. It's already starting to happen: this is a rare moment when I can be articulate. I could use a fraction of what I've donated, but nope, not a single cent or offer of help.

    So...I guess I was a sucker to do what I did? Maybe I'm right not to want to be alive in this world? What abuse I've endured. I'm 43, and just seeing now that my life has been for nothing. Starvation may be a blessing.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I am so sorry this is happening to you - you sound like a really good kind person and nobody deserves to be in an abusive situation. What country are you in? Maybe we can brainstorm ideas to get you help? Where are you living now (you say you are in the middle of a move) What happens if you go to the hospital and explain that you are getting psychotic because you can't take your meds due to lack of food? Maybe they can help you get stable again?

    I have to hop out but i will be back in a couple of hours - talk to us! *hugs*
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    @blu dragonfly firstly, I want to applaud you for having been so amazing and giving to others. You sound like you have a huge heart!

    There has to be a solution for you, is there any shelters you can go to and ask for help? Charities? Churches? As Freya said, would it be so bad to go to the hospital and explain your situation? I am sure they would much rather help you now than when you reach psychosis because you haven't taken your meds.
    Is there homeless shelters or such places you can get food from? Have you tried asking bakeries if they have any bread left at the end of the day that can't be sold, that you might have?

    Please don't give up on yourself hun. You're too precious!
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