I feel the urge to rant, so here goes. I don’t know how much longer I can stand being alive. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to be alive anymore either and death is looking more and more like the better option. I try to be supportive to other people in need on this forum and tell them to hang in there, and have hope, but I am the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world for saying that. I feel like the world is shit and humans have no hope. I don’t believe we have souls there is no heaven and we are not reborn. What is the point of even trying to live a long and happy life when we are just going to be eaten my maggots after we are dead anyway? No profound meaning to life, no eternal happiness, no seeing our loved ones on the other side. Just dead, food for the maggots, fertilizer for the earth, nothing more. This is what I feel I truly believe. I have even thought that there is a meaning to life even without a belief in eternal happiness. To make others lives better. To help and be compassionate. To contribute to society to make future generations better. Fuck that shit too. It’s inevitably that the human race will one day be extinct IMO. We are either going to kill ourselves in some nuclear fucking world war III or be wiped out by some horrific natural disaster when the planet finally gets tired of taking our shit. So why make any contributions to society in anyway when all humans are going to go the way of the dinosaurs eventually? It would be futile. Might not happen soon, but my guess is within the next 50,000 years, there won’t be a human in existence, maybe no life left on earth at all. I always thought of my suicidal thoughts as being completely irrational. Now, they are becoming more and more rational by the day. It is starting to make more sense to choose death over life. I am having doubts that I even have depression or social anxiety. I don’t have social anxiety, I just hate fucking people. I hate what humans have become, they are all selfish whether they admit it or not, me being the worst of them all. I question whether human intelligence has done the world any good what-so-ever. I believe it has not. Our intelligence has caused us to cause the inevitable demise of all human existence. Human nature isn’t to be kind and loving, it is to fuck ourselves and be in denial about it. I don’t have depression; I just see the world for what it really is. Shit. Nobody has depression. People who are considered depressed are actually the sanest. We know what the world really is, what is has become and what it will be. It is the fucking doctors and therapists that feed us the bullshit that we can be happy, and life is worth living that are the insane ones. They deluded themselves into believing it and they try to fool us into believing it too. You would have to be fucking crazy to want to live. I’ll probably feel like a fucking ass for saying have the shit I said. I can’t even remember what half of it was, but I don’t care at the moment. This is a pathetic attempt at hoping to make myself feel better that even thought I know it won’t work, but I feel compelled to post this shit anyway. Fuck it if nobody bothers to read it. If you were stupid enough to then sorry for wasting your time…like I care anyway.