I want to give up. There are so many issues with myself, i've never been happy with myself even as a kid and the image of myself hasn't changed. All these issues around me: my parents abuse, college, my friends fading away as the days go by, how i've relapsed on SI harder than ever before and my depression worsening, it's just brought me down to a low i've never felt before. I mean, i've has these feelings of ending it before, but never this harshly. Everything which I work hard on at college comes out at the bottom no matter how hard I try or revise before hand, how my parents make me feel like utter crap 24/7 and how I would lose my teeth if I were to retaliate and if I were to tell them about these emotions they would laugh and mock me, influencing it saying how much of of a pitiful, weak minded loser I am and how I deserve. Also, my borderline brothers which have secretly helped me through out my life by battling my negative emotions have all gotten engaged or chasing their goals, slowly forgetting my existence... and I'm kinda just sitting here, too weak or apathetic to act on anything, constantly feeling abandoned and hopeless, bottom of the barrel, left to survive. My friends couldn't help me anyway, they haven't experienced anyting like this, so I can't blaim them. It's come to the point where I realized it's getting harder and harder. Too hard. As selfish as talking about the subject is, I don't care enough to change my mind. But it's still my last resort. Can anyone give me some advice? Thanks.