I want to..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Apr 10, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I want to die. I just.. I don't know, it's like i'm not in me anymore, all that's left is the broken peices of me, it's be better if I was dead. I am a bad person, I am stupid, can't work, can't go to college, at this very moment I am realizing that I am nothing in this huge would, knowing even though all the bad things that have happend to me hasn't ended yet, anytime I could be homeless, and I can't do that. I want to die so much.. :cry: I am trying so hard to hold on but I don't want to anymore.
     
  2. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    Hang in there. Life will start going up for you. i f you'd like to talk you can pm me.
     
  3. Pneuma

    Pneuma Guest

    I've been homeless before. When you lose all of your material possessions at least you have a chance to really find your strengths.

    Is it all bad?
     
  4. Cheryl

    Cheryl Well-Known Member

    Carolyn,

    Take courage, broken pieces can be put back together again. You are not a bad person. You are a very creative, talented, and compassionate person. You have so much to offer. You offer so much to this site and to others. Because of your experiences, you can relate to so many people that others would never relate to. Unfortunately, all of us have our share of bad experiences, but we learn from them and grow. Whatever your going through right now can be used as a stepping stone into something positive, rather than a stumbling block...

    I'm proud of you. Your holding on in spite of the setbacks or disappointments. its not easy. it takes courage. and you're doing it.

    you let so many people lean on you...now lean on us for your strength and support. we are here for you.

    Cheryl
     
  5. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    Quote: Carolyn :cry: I am trying so hard to hold on but I don't want to anymore.

    Sorry to hear you're going through a bad patch Carolyn. I wanted to sing you a song, but this will have to do:

    "Take my hand, we'll make it I swear... we're all living on a prayer" - Bon Jovi

    :handinhan
     
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    No way, Carolyn, I AM NOTHING compared to you, your a very special, wonderful, caring, funny, smart person and I've seen it here, I should be the one miserable and suicidal, not you.
     
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    You are too something hun :hug: :cheekkiss
     
  8. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I know this is your thread, but I'm feeling crappy, on two forums, people say I'm annoying and pityful and maybe I am, just feel bad right now. But you shouldn't feel bad, your really special and awesome and forget if you haven't gotten a college degree yet or whatever, so many other people haven't but you got a lot of kindness in your heart and thats the really important thing. :biggrin:
     
  9. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: thanks :(
     
  10. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I know its easy to compare yourself to others your age that have things you don't and you feel bad, happens to me ALL THE TIME. Only thing you can do is compare yourself to those as equal or worse off than you, well maybe thats not good either.
    Well, you are a very unique person, I've seen you have participated here a lot and been a really kind, motherly figure and I'm sorry that such a kind wonderful person like you is hurting inside right now, you don't deserve to.
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Carolyn, I could have written that myself.

    Your self esteem is so low at the moment, you can't see any good in you. That is so FAR from the truth it's not even funny. There is so much good in you. Have you tried to improve your self esteem? (maybe try googling 'ways to improve self esteem' and see if any of the things there are things you are willing to try). If you can start to see the good in yourself, holding on might be easier.

    You are not bad, you are one of the most caring people on this forum, and it would be a tragic loss to the world if you did die.

    Try to hang in there honey. Try and get yourself some support and help (if you don't already have it).

    Take care of yourself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2007
  12. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Neither do you :hug:
     
  13. Adeline

    Adeline Well-Known Member

    Hi Carolyn,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you are so down. Usually you are so supportive and upbeat on these forums. Don't wish that you were dead. You are a good, kind person and you help a lot of people out on these forums. You are definitely not nothing to any of us. Don't worry. You will be okay. Let the pain pass. This time shall pass. Kindtosnails posted up something on that remember? You are a great person. You are just going through a tough time.

    Love,

    Earla
     
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Sorry adding another post on top of the other one.

    Now, I know that you are not stupid. You are incredibly intelligent and insightful. There are countless posts around here show that.

    I'm not sure why you can't work or do college, but I can assume that maybe it's because you are ill? (feel free to correct me if I am wrong).

    Why give yourself a hard time for being ill? You clearly feel bad enough already without adding hassle about an illness on top of how vile you already feel.

    When you get better, and you will get there if you keep fighting, you can achieve anything you want. But right now your energy needs to go into staying alive, not a job or anything like that.

    Hang in there.

    Sorry for posting twice.
     
  15. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I have borderline personality disorder, agoraphobia, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, OCD tendencies, anxiety disorder, BED (eating disorder), ADD, possibly bipolar.. and Fibromyalgia, severe migraines, back problems, pinched Syatica nerve, feet problems, bad stumach problems (like 5 different things but don't wanna mention them), chronic bronchitis, acid reflux, endometriosis, I get spasms in my knees and back. I'm constantly exausted, hurts terribly to move, there are other things but there's some to give you a idea.



    Thanks for being here for me hunny, you're a sweetheart :hug: :flowers:
     
  16. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Thanks for being here for me hun, it means alot. :hug: :hug: :hug:
     
  17. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    We have a lot more in common than we ever realised.

    With that list I can relate so much to you. Not all of it, but an awful lot of that.

    Hang in there
     
  18. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug:
     
  19. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    hey carolyn i'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling at the top of your game. i know you have alot of things going on. i was just thinking how easy it seems for people to forget there is so much more to humanity than education in fact to me that seems but a fraction of and the same goes for working. without the basic skills of simple decent humanity none of those others would be truely possible. some people to have it to one degree or another the sincere humanity and personally i see and believe you have been blessed far above and beyond the majority of people in this world. it's hard to find people as sensitive and as caring as you are. i hope that you won't deprive the world or us here at sf that. please take care of yourself. i look forward to continue seeing you around here.
     
  20. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    Yet you simply cannot hide the beautiful angel that you are.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.