I've had enough.. My parents are being immature and are fighting to compete against each other which one I should side on and I'm stuck in the middle. My dad is forever having a go at me screaming and shouting when I do nothing wrong and it feels as though I walk on egg shells all the time. This morning I went into town and I seen my old landlord who abused me when I was younger. My social anxiety has got much worse and now I hate leaving the house. The only place I feel safe is in my bed and it's the only place I want to be. Actually, that's a lie. The only place I want to be, or more the only 'state' I want to be in is dead. Last night I found myself staring at something which would have ended all this pain. I didn't sleep all night because I wanted to do it but each time I went to I stopped myself and I wish I was brave enough, for the first time in my life I wanted to do the RIGHT thing but I couldn't and now I'm more mad at myself. Tonight I may try again, hopefully I'll get it right this time.