Cried again today...by myself..no solace just empty 'what's wrong?'... I really dont know why I am being subjected to another form of purgatory. It might be a more 'peaceful level' but it still feels like purgatory. I am definitely not well here. I cry so much, i feel bad more than good. I feel like I get put down than get uplifted. I spend almost all my time alone. I am shutting my contacts down on my phone because I really am starting to not care anymore. I don't want to relapse after a good therapy session. I just don't know why I should have to merely 'cope' with my life anymore. I just cope, I don't enjoy it, barely ever, ever. If anyone is selfish, it's anyone who wants me to continue this sorry plight I call my life. I don't want it anymore. I am putting up with my life for what it's worth. I am sorry to be negative here, I promise I am not going to take any action and never condone it for anyone, in any case. Life is precious and try to get the most enjoyment out of it you possibly can is what I say. If you are healthy or at least can function enough to get something of enjoyment, you are OK. I just don't understand life..why I'm here..why I'm me..not someone else. Why in this sad life? Not some rich or famous life instead? or just someone better off? someone with an incredibly supportive boyfriend or husband? someone who owns a lap cat they can affectionately cuddle with whenever they arrive home? someone who has friends to have get togethers and 'make moments' with. Thanks mom and dad..you weren't qualified in the first place to have kids. This is the result...ME. I'm just worried. My life quality is at such a low. It's blinking red like a video game when you're about to lose.