I wants don't get.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Scum, Aug 8, 2010.

  1. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I want this over with.

    I just want it to stop.
  2. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    I really hope thats not true, i have to think you never know whats around the corner for any of us. But it does feel like that. :sad: What is it you are wanting?

    Has anything happened that prompted this?
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    What is it that you want to stop?
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Life. Yes, I'm a clichee.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Don't have any advice but wanted you to know I understand that feeling so well....
    Just don't know how to fix it..
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thanks IV. There is no advice anyone can give anymore. I'm sorry you understand though. x
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I wish I had some advice. :hug: Is there something that's making you feel this way right now, or is the feeling always there?
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Just want to give you a :hug: You really are a wonderful person and do what you can to help others~I hope things start looking up for you.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Oh, mucs. I understand your feelings all to well. I wish I had the foresight to see into the future and tell you with certainty that everything you feel will go away and things will be much brighter in your future tomorrows. I don't have that ability, but I do have hope for you. I know it has been a long journey and the battle seems to be constantly going uphill. I do think you have what it takes to get over that hill and find that beautiful green valley full of the abundant life and joy you deserve. (I know what you are thinking. And yes you deserve every happiness life has to offer so push those ugly thoughts away.) You are in my thoughts and still have a place in my heart that feels your pain. I know this doesn't help anything, but sometimes knowing you are not alone can ease the pain enough to make life tolerable. Take care and stay safe. you are more valuable than you realize. :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 9, 2010
  10. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. Yeh, just everything. Nothing new. Just all very overwhelming.

    I'm just very without hope, in a way that many people would not understand. Even my doc says we have now missed the opportunity to get me better.

    I'm sorry that you can relate gentlelady, truly sorry for that.

    Thank you to all three of you. x
  11. fooror

    fooror Well-Known Member

    Hi scum, I think you're cool :)
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I agree with that 100%!! :D
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    your psych doctor doesn't sound that great to me sorry How does he know all
    there is always a way a different door that opens when one shuts sorry i know the feeling of hopelessness god i know but i guess i also know there is so much more i have not tried i have not fought for and if i did fight for it i will fight for it again until someone listens and gets it It takes dam professioanals along time to hear to actually get it. I hope another door opens for you i really do as you have given so much to many here i am sorry you are in such a dark place right now ihope some light gets thru to you to just lighten up the darkness take care
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Its not a psych, its just my regular GP doctor. I don't have any mental health help because they won't touch me with a bargepole. My GP has fought hard for me and is still fighting for me but he's not fighting alongside me anymore, he's trying to fight me because I've given up (he is seriously concerned about how low I am and I nearly ended up sectioned last week) and he is trying to fight me to turn me out of my dip. I used to turn to him for help. Now I turn to him for meds to stockpile.

    He keeps trying to encourage me to keep fighting, to keep going back, to say when the time has come. He's trying so many different methods he's never tried before (we're talking, begging, pouting, lol, anything). I've never been this low and he knows that because he's been treating me for many years.

    And fooror, thanks. I'm really not though. Buffy, you know better than to know that too. I certainly won't be cool when you're starkers and having your legs waxed and being pushed about in a wheelchair by your 'carer' :D
  15. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Lol! That does sound mildly uncomfortable!! :p I'll still manage to think you're cool though, because if you're creative enough to physically get me in that chair and manage to get that wax anywhere near my legs, you'll be cool just for accomplishing the impossible. *makes a mental note to take only long pants, NO shorts*
  16. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I would no longer rely on doctors if they fail at helping me, and then have the nerve to blame me in the process. There is hope and you can find it. I went from being where you are to being where I am, and that is a big change. It is not too late for you. Don't ever forget that. Blessings..
  17. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I never, ever, ever relied on doctors though. I have come a hugely long way by myself but can't do anymore by myself. I can't make myself better no matter how much I try.

    I'm glad things are better for you though, well done you for fighting and never giving up :)
  18. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I do not do anything by myself. It took years and years of struggling to figure this out. Reach out and get support. I find support in every aspect in life, spiritually and physically. Now I know that if it is too much to handle I have someone there all the time to help. You can work on yourself, but it is hard when you don't know who you are. I had no idea of who I was anymore by the time I hit rock bottom.I just knew I no longer wanted to be who I had become. I had to rediscover who I want to be, and my faith helped me a lot with this. Prayer too. Don't give up, there is hope somewhere for everyone.
  19. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You sound like you've worked so hard.

    I guess there are a lot of differences in that I have reached out, anywhere and everywhere, and there is no response. I have excellent self awareness (my doc says that I am the most self aware patient he has) and so therefore know my limitations and such.

    I think its great that you have worked so hard and found whatever works for you. However, it doesn't sound like it would work for me because I have already done the majority. Often people just can not comprehend my journey and also how very hard I have fought and all I have done without help. I guess its easy to make presumptions about me from the very little I've said here so I don't blame people for doing it. I understand why people would think of me as a loser, a wallower, and someone who is not willing to make an effort to change. I truly have tried my hardest though.