Just thinking about things, I'm wondering did they ever care for me at all? I've been beaten up, bullied, teased and abused, because of it I find it hard to trust people, to get close with them, when I need my Parents the most to protect me, to help me, there is no one. They probably wouldn't even notice if I was gone. I mean, I've set out in trying to do my best and to please my Mum and Dad, I've always wanted to make them proud of me but it just feels like there is nothing there, no love, nothing. My little brother get's all their attention (along with my twin sister) because he's the youngest AND he's ill. My sister because she's just so wonderful and amazing, but me... I can't do shit, I'm useless in their eyes and that feeling really does get to me. To be honest, I don't know what I want from them, I've gotten use to the feeling but it hurts thinking about it, maybe it's too late to change things, maybe I don't want change, I'm so confused I don't know what I want. I just want to feel loved I guess.