I was being diagnosed with narrow angled glaucoma

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marathon-Running-Bunny, Aug 17, 2014.

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  1. I had some fun with friends during my work off days. I didn't know how my right eye got injured as a result. I have seen my GP referring me to the eye specialist and the eye specialist have done some tests confirming my worst fear - Glaucoma. Now I am on eye drops (4bottles). the doctor told me the bad news that the damage is there and will be there permanently. It's not about the pressure in the eye but the optic nerve has been damaged by the injury. I was not born with any visual issue at all and I can't behave normal while receiving news of myself getting diagnosed with Glaucoma. While the right eye vision is still blurry while typing this (relying on my left eye to read), I will give up everything in my life to get my right eye to recover. I have not been sleeping much after receiving this sort of diagnosis since 9 August. I was actually planning and confirming my death plan. If I were to lost my right eye, I don't see the meaning for myself to live on any longer. I am already on the verge of acting out on my plan anytime if my right eye vision just go black. I think nobody will understand me. I don't know what to do except to pray for my right eye to recover. Every single night, I am hiding in a corner of my bedroom crying myself to sleep. Why did this happen to me?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    if you take the eye drops as prescribed there should be no further damage to the nerve I wish someone close to me had taken those drops earlier just remember to keep up your appts with specialist ok all will be fine then
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I know it is devastating news, but it doesn't mean that you will permanently lose vision in your right eye. If you take the drops as prescribed and attend regular check ups you will halt the progress of the glaucoma and you won't get any further damage and may heal some of the damage already done. I am diagnosed with HIV, so know how devastating being diagnosed with incurable illnesses can be, but it's not the end of the world and you can live a normal life. Don't give up and stop it with those suicide plans!
     
  4. This glaucoma diagnosis is worst than my asthma diagnosis. I have fought through my asthma for so long and doctors also told me that it will be with me forever. Asthma is incurable but controllable and reversible. Glaucoma is incurable and I don't know whether it can be reversed or not? I don't want to gradually become blind in the right eye. I need my eyes to work. I am completely devastated and I don't know what to do except using the prescribed eye drops and praying for recovery. I don't see black spots or tunnel vision but my entire right eye vision is blurry. I go read up on glaucoma and glaucoma means seeing black spots but I don't. The blurry vision resembles not wearing your thick glasses while reading words from faraway. Is not cataract either.
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    To reiterate what has already been said, keep up with the eye drops and attend doc appointments and the condition shouldn't get any worse.
    This doesn't mean you are going to go blind.
    I do know how scarey this must be for you as my mother has blurry vision in one eye, she describes it as looking through the bottom of a coke bottle, and she was terrified that she was going to lose her sight.
    5 years on the eye is no worse due to treatment and regular eye checks.

    :hug:
     
  6. I don't know what to hope for now. If I become blind, there is nothing for me to look forward to anymore. I have just plucked up some courage to go to the hospital and tell them I am suicidal. Now waiting for my turn.
     
  7. I am in the hospital spy ward for my suicidal thought so and sad emotions.
     
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Best place if you are still feeling suicidal, hope they can help and put your fears to rest with regard to your eyes.
    Let us know how it all goes, I'll keep an eye out for your posts. :hug:
     
  9. Have spoken to my own psychiatrist and his presence has given me lots of comfort knowing that this is the right team who will help me. I told them how the previous psychiatrists from other hospitals treated me as if I am an actor pranking on them and they refused to offer me any help except to find ways and reasons to discharge me with the word M√ľnchausen syndrome. I have told the doctors here about my past mistreatment and I hope they will not do it to me here, or else there is no point in staying for treatment.
     
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