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I Was Fine Until Yesterday

blueskyx

Active Member
#1
I had anxiety attack before along with depression but even when I had hard times recently, it was somewhat manageable. I went to therapy and I didnt have any specific trigger, I just need to learn how to balance my emotions. Until yesterday, one of my assignment was to perform a presentation with audience online. I was a group leader for my group assignment, so I hosted the presentation yesterday.

Just background story, I was a shy and anxious kid before and once I was on debate competition and had performance anxiety so I broke down and didn’t participate in any public speaking after that. However that was about eight years ago. I’m a confident person now after I entered university and I could handle public speaking better than before. So I didn’t think anything would go wrong during yesterday’s presentation. I was supposed to host the presentation with my friend. But my friend had technical difficulties so I had to do her part, but because I was panicking & didnt know her lines I ended up talking nonsense and didnt present properly. Plus the video I was presenting had problems, and my lecturer asked me to just summarize the video but I was too anxious I couldn’t do it well. I had a really bad anxiety that I asked my other friend to present some parts for me. That presentation was a disaster, and the feedback from our audience was really bad. In the feedback it said they didnt learn anything from our presentation at all. It depresses me so much but I tried to cheer up by going out with a friend yesterday to a beach. However, I ended up dreaming about it. I dreamt that the audience laughed at my performance and they made a meme page about me and I was trending on twitter for being an idiotic presenter. Today, my anxiety kept arising and I kept thinking how I keep ruining my own life. My overthinking & depression was getting worst everytime I randomly think about that failed presentation. Why am I even trying, if I will only end up in failure? I tried not to think about it by distracting my mind, but I feel like it will haunt me again and I’m scared to sleep in case I had the same nightmare :(
 
#2
Damn, I'm sorry that happened to you. I also suffer from anxiety and I know not only how much anxiety sucks but how it can suck to regret what happened afterwards. Public presenting and sudden change can be very hard to deal with at times and can be overwhelming. Try not to overthink what happened at the presentation - everyone messes up from time to time and I'm sure no permanent damage was done. I'm sure the audience and your friends don't think any less of you due to what happened. There are ways to manage your anxiety and learn to deal with situations that may seem impossible to deal with now. Sorry that you are having a bad time *hug.
 

blueskyx

Active Member
#3
Yeah, I do hope the audience think so :( fortunately my group mates /friends were supportive to me about it and said they can understand my pressure well :(
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#4
Hi there, fellow anxiety/anxiety attack sufferer here. I am so sorry for what happened to you. But look, you TRIED. I wouldn't have been able to TRY. I would have just said no, i'm not doing it. I give you a lot of credit for giving it your best shot. I'm sorry that the whole ordeal has even worsened your anxiety *console

Living with anxiety attacks is very hard especially when you're trying to cope alone, may I ask what kind of supports do you have? Would trying mindfulness and other things aimed at reducing anxiety help like, self help books, coping mechanisms, mindfulnesss colouring (that is relaxing)? Are you seeing a therapist/on medication?

As for what has happened, let it in the past however hard that sounds and move on from that by doing your best to help your anxiety whether that's talking to someone who also suffers, finding peer support does help me a lot, just knowing that there are others that ''get it'' and understand. Keep posting okay? We are all here for you and please never think suicide is the solution, after many attempts myself, its really not the answer, we do have people that love and care about us even if we try to make ourselves believe we don't. Learning how to cope is the answer, you may even be able to help others when you get back on track :)

SF is here for you each and every day. *hug massive hugs.
 

Paisley

* * *
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#5
You ran into a lot of unexpected issues in the presentation. Keep that in mind.

Honestly, it sounds like you handled it very well. Better than I would have.
 

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