I was just wondering...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, May 9, 2008.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Im not trying to start a fight or a heated debate with this thread. I was just simply wondering about this.. I have noticed many posts on help/support forums and other forums where people are asking for help/advice with few or no replies to them. I was wondering, when you read someones post and they are really desperate for advice/support/encouragment/whatever and you dont reply - What is the reason you passed that person up and left them no reply? Are you worried your advice wont help them any? Do you simply have no advice worth offering to their situation? Or is there another reason?
    When I pass up sending a reply to someones thread when they are really reaching out to people its because I dont think I have anything worth telling them because I have no experience with whats happening to them and my advice would be worthless...
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    I have several reasons...
    Sometimes it just hits home too hard and I have to leave the thread :sad:
    Sometimes I haven't got a clue how to help and feel useless. Though if there are no replies yet, I often try to at least send some hugs and telling them that we're here to listen :dunno:

    I do feel guilty when leaving a thread without replying, but like.. It's just hard sometimes :dunno:
  3. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    That is usually my reason as well.
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    My brain seems to be non-existant of late and no matter how much I want to reply to a thread to offer help, I can't seem to find the words. I do try, but what I spew out with in the end, I think doesn't seem to help people. :(
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sometimes I feel I don't have the right words to say to the original poster. The words fail me. I don't feel I should put something down just for the sake of doing so. It could also be because the post is triggering and I cannot answer without doing harm to myself, although if I have something I can say due to experience I may try and come back to it at a later time. I know people have many reasons for viewing without replying. When you are the one seeking help, it can make you feel completely ignored. i hope members understand that we do not wish to ignore them. We simply had nothing to say that would help out. :hug:
  6. notmyrealname

    notmyrealname Well-Known Member

    I can never find the words.
  7. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I reply if the person's situation strikes me for some reason, or if I otherwise relate strongly to the person. However, sometimes if I relate too strongly to the situation/person, I can't find the right words.

    I wish I could reply to everyone's post, but it's like reading the newspaper for me--there are so many people in pain that it overwhelms and depresses me, and I can't help anyone once I get like that. I choose rather randomly what to care about in general, I guess. For those people I don't reply to, it might be for the best: I seem to be very good at killing off threads. :dry: :smile:
  8. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    Ditto to all the above. I'd like to add that sometimes I can feel too apathetic for typing, even if I have a shadow of a thought.
    This topic came up at a councsellors last week, about online forums. My deciscion has to been to reply to one post per day, on a good day to share; on a bad day just to say hi to a newbie. Kind of the 12step way of giving back, in my personal way.
  9. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    I feel absolutly the same. and it makes me feel awful, but i cant change it.
  10. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Thats one reason I wanted to start this thread.. I often feel ignored when I post seeking advice or answers and no one replies. I know thats not usually the case so I wanted to start this thread so hopefully those who post needing help and dont get answers, they wont feel ignored.
  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    for me, i think it's about energy - it would be impossible to answer every thread, i'd be exhausted! i check before work in the AM, and usually am here for a few hours in the evening after work. i like to read everything, even if i don't have a response at hand, i helps to know i'm not alone in my feelings. i usually hang out in a few sub-forums, i almost never see the posts in the dream section, for instance, or eating healthy or creative writing.

    i guess from the standpoint of someone who also uses this place to *get* support when i need it, i have learned to moderate my expectations. the biggest thing i needed to learn was that responses won't come immediately, no matter how many times i hit "refresh".... i won't take it personally, but i *do* want to yell "hey! america!!! wake up! i need some help!!!!"

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