I was molested from ages 5-11

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by TehAndrew, Oct 10, 2006.

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  1. TehAndrew

    TehAndrew Member


    While i was growing up a family friend had been molesting me. He didnt physicly force me to do anything, but he made threats. I never told a soul, then i made a xanga explicitly explaining everything terrible that had hapenend in my life, and my parents found it. They called me a liar, and said that I would have told someone about it.

    Well that person when my family was visiting. he would take me into a back room, or even a closet. No one ever caught us suprisingly. Now that i think of it, that could have alot to do with my warped reality.. ages 5-11 are crucial years. my view on sex is very twisted. I don't enjoy anything usual guys would, I dont like "bj"s or flat out sex at all.. if fact i hate it.. but I'd give my life to make my girlfriend feel good.. maybe thats because of what hapenend earlier in my life?.. Well if I never can enjoy a healthy marriage with sex and such then im going to be VERY angry.
    Something else thats wierd is alot of people would consider me "gay". I sit in my girlfriends lap alot, and lay my head against her. Alot of people say things like "its like shes the guy and your the girl".. i remmeber one day at her house i layed my face against her and cried.. = \ I felt better after that than i had in years.
    At night i sleep hugging a pillow, and if i can't be hugging a pillow imagining it as her i can't sleep at all.
    I guess im extremely insecure = \

    Well that sick guy who did that to me. heh. he moved away. thats the only way he stopped doing it to me. otherwise he woulda kept it up.

    I refuse to bring it up again cause my mom says if its real, then i would press charges. if they don't believe me then obviously I've lost they're trust somewhere along the road.

    blah. I hate molesters. I hate them. I watched that report on the molester who locked himself in that school with those girls and got pissed.

    I strongly believe all molesters after commiting the crime of molestation should be put to death.
  2. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I was raped when I was 10

    I was 10 years old, and I took a trip to see my cousins in Kentucky, I made a friend there, named Amanda. it was her older brother that raped me. We were outside playing with a basketball, which was completely normal, and there was no one else around, which was also normal. I had become friends with him as well. He asked me if I was hungry, and I said yes. So, we went in his house to get something to eat. I didn't think anything of it, because I had been in his house before. so...I guess it was my stupid decision that got me into the situation. I turned around, and he said my name, so i turned back around and said "yeah". he got down on his knees and wrapped his arms around my waist.He was 16, and I was 10, not to mention I'm a small boned person. So, of course, I started panicing, and saying things like "what are you doing" and "let go of me". He didn't let go. He looked up into my face, and Said "I wanna have sex with you." I was completely mortified. I mean, i was interested in guys at that age, but not in having sex with them. He let me go for an instant and I tried to run. He was blocking the front door, but I knew that they had a back door, so i headed there. His back door had been taken off the hinges, so, I went to jump the 2 feet to the ground, and I almost made it, but, my left arm was a little bit behind my body, he caught me, he raped me, he threatened to kill me, and said that if I told anyone he would kill my younger cousin. I am very protective of my family and so, I didn't tell anyone. That was 4 years ago. And part of the reason why I have suicidal issues. He is in jail, for raping someone else. And I'm glad. just this year, I got the nerve to tell me parents, and I'm glad that I did. They understand, and don't blame me like I thought they would. I'm thinking about charging him with rape and adding time to his sentence, but I'm not sure yet.
  3. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    Re: I was raped when I was 10

    i am really sorry that the two of you have had to go through that.. I andrew can you talk with your girlfriend... does she know why you dont enjoy sex... have you gotten therapy...

    i am really sorry of how your parents reacted.. it was not fair or just.... i believe you

    songie.... i am proud of you and your bravery .. and of your parents reaction... as for posting charges .. in the usa.. rape has a 5 year satutes of limitations so you have a little time left.... hugs
  4. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    holy shit! (excuse my french plz), so, I have less than a year to figure out whether or not to press charges...well, shit.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Andrew, you really need to talk to someone about what happened.

    I was molested by my grandfather between the ages of 6 and 7 while in his care.
    I didn't tell anyone (long story why) until I was 14, when I did my dad cried (it was his father) and my mum went off into one.
    Between them they decided that he hadn't done it, but they never told me this; we just carried on seeing him as if nothing had happened. I can't begin to tell you the damage that caused.
    He tried it on again when I was 19 and this caused a breakdown, I had 4 years of psychotherapy with a wonderful shrink. My mum and dad realised how wrong they had been and it has burdened my dad with terrible guilt.

    My grandfather is dead and it's everyone else who is left with the aftermath.

    However, my therapist got me along way to healing and I have come to terms with what happened and hold no animosity not even against him. He was obviously a very sick man, and there is justice because he died a terrible death.

    Please try to find a therapist that you can share your anger (you have it believe me), shame and feelings of worthless with.

    Have hope hun you can put it behind you.
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