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I was okay for a little while, but the depression is back now

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Amber

Active Member
#1
Well, the past few months have been really hard on me especially. Just a lot has been going on like the loss of my grandma, family conflicts, and just being in this deep depression. I'm taking meds and everything but I still feel so sad. I feel like my life is going no where. I'm 22 and I feel so old already. It's hard for me to do anything. Most of the time I sleep all day and watch tv shows or movies all night. I make to-do lists every day but never get anything done. I rarely spend time with anyone other than my boyfriend. He's the same as I am. I remember a time when we were both happy and active, but I have no idea how to get back there. I just see my life going no where. I own a home now but have no way to pay the bills, I overeat like crazy lately because that's all I CAN do. I get so bored and lonely. Life just hasn't been the same since my grandma has been gone. I miss her every day and feel like I lost this huge part of myself. I just want to be able to function. I want to feel like there's a reason to wake up each day.
 

takencontrol

Well-Known Member
#2
im so sorry for your loss. :hug: maybe just decide on one thing to do each day, even something small like getting up, even just for a short period of time. build it up over several days and hopefully that will give you a little energy to do something else. i understand its really difficult but just one little thing could make all the difference. sending :hug: to you in this difficult time.
 

Aphorism

Well-Known Member
#3
You're going through a really hard time, and I am hopeful that your grandma may Rest In Peace. It is understandable that you are mournful right now; this is a tough time, and it's hard to know exactly how to act or what to say in the loss of a loved one. Maybe since you feel as if you and your boyfriend are in a similar situation, you should try to talk it out with him? Perhaps scope around, and try to think of some healthy ideas of relieving stress, and at least think about planning on engaging in some of the activities you once enjoyed.

I know life seems impossible sometimes, and the last thing you want to do is take small steps--because it does feel rather insignificant. But trust me, just one thing can make you feel the world of difference that it takes to get motivate to try and change your state of mind.
 

Speedy

Staff Alumni
#4
Dear Amber,

I am so sorry to hear of your grandma's passing. I know you feel left behind, like you've lost a part of you. It would be dozens of times more sincere if I could convey my condolences in person or send a card. Ahh.. :sigh: Reading about the losses of loved ones always leaves me at a loss for words... I sometimes dream of finding someone like me who can relate to how I feel sometimes (depressed, suicidal, etc.). Your boyfriend.. I'm glad he's with you.

May your grandma rest in peace.

Sincerely,

Alex
 

Chargette

Well-Known Member
#5
I'm sorry to hear you lost your Grandma. Grieving takes time. Please don't be hard on yourself. Have you tried attending a bereavement group? The process is usually about 6 sessions. The groups are generally free at a local hospital or medical group.

:hug:
 

roscho

Well-Known Member
#6
Amber,

You stated your situation very precisely. You have the ability to step outside yourself and observe and assess. That is a great skill to have.

I like the to do list one - that helps me. Maybe try it in reverse? At the end of the day, make a list of things that you DID do.

The overeating was a good reflection - you are so right and I never thought about it that way.

I know it helps when we have something to look forward to. When we're down, that is harder to do. I look forward to little things now, like a trip to Starbucks in the morning. Pedestrian things often taken for granted.

In 2008 I lost my Dad, my dog of 15 years, and my 25 year old favorite nephew. Losing people close to you is a challenge that you can't prepare for.

I'm thinking of you, and look forward to hearing more from you.

Now I have to fold laundry, bleh.
 
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