I was right

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#1
I knew it. Everytime I start to think that maybe I'm an ok person, I get knocked down again. I knew I couldn't trust anyone, I knew I was only tolerated and no one really liked me. I knew all that stuff about having good qualities was just a load of bullshit. Please just admit that I don't mean anything to anyone. If someone would just admit that then I could deal with being nothing but scum, rather than having this stupid doubt that maybe it's just depression. I'm not depressed, I really am a piece of shit! All my life people have been telling me that, and I was right to believe them.
 
D

Death71

#2
What reasons have people given for calling you 'a piece of shit' you can't have done things that bad?
 

Jodi

Staff Alumni
#4
Mal,

Oh sweetie, you are not tolerated...you are liked...and many people care a great deal for you...and you do mean something to me...your my buddy....Mal's my Pal...I could never forget you.....you do have many great qualities....dont believe anyone who tells you different.....luv ya Mal.... :hug:
 

kath

Well-Known Member
#5
Hey Mal im sorry i dont really know what to say.Hugs.im sorry you feel so bad,so low.And im sorry you feel so knocked down again.i can understand you finding it hard to believe when anyone says anything nice or caring aobut you or tells you that you matter or that they care.....i can understand you doubting it cos i often doubt those type of things when they happen to me too.But i want you to know that i care,YOu DO matter to ME and MSNY of us here and im sure elsewhere too hun.i know your hurting and i know its so hard but please cling on.We are here.Lean on us like you have let us lean on you.Well done for being brave enough to post.i hope it helped you to get some of it.Please hun,please stay safe.

Take care adn best wishes for now
kath
 

gentlelady

Staff Alumni
#6
Mal i have no idea what is going on presently. Maybe that is fo the best, I can't say. What I can say is that I have never just tolerated you or felt about you lide you are saying people do in yur post. I think you are very worthwhile. I enjoy any time we spend chatting together. I value your judgement. I care about you at all times whether you are feeling good or bad. I think your depression is pulling you down toward that kind of thinking. It isn't fair that it has the ability to completely destroy us. Don't let it take over Mal. You know deep down that we are here for you. Please take care. You are in my heart and mind. :hug:
 
#8
YOU ARE NOT A PEICE OF SHIT!!! :ohmy: :dry: :mad: :whack: 's them. You weren't right. Don't let these arses do this to you. You are a wonderful person. You don't deserve this abuse. SCrew them. How evil... dunno how they live with themselves. I am here if you'd like to talk hun. :) :hug:
 

downmage

Well-Known Member
#9
Fuck those people! If I were you.. I wouldn't give a rat's ass what those people think of me. Somehow or someway..that happiness that your seeking comes from inside of you..not in the actions and bullshit thoughts of others.
 
#11
Just checking on you Mal. How are you feeling now? i hope you realize that there are peple here that love you and would never want to see you hurt. Thise others, well they can just stay away. Don't let them influence how you feel about yourself. Listen to us, not them. :hug:
 

mike25

Well-Known Member
#12
I knew it. Everytime I start to think that maybe I'm an ok person, I get knocked down again. I knew I couldn't trust anyone, I knew I was only tolerated and no one really liked me. I knew all that stuff about having good qualities was just a load of bullshit. Please just admit that I don't mean anything to anyone. If someone would just admit that then I could deal with being nothing but scum, rather than having this stupid doubt that maybe it's just depression. I'm not depressed, I really am a piece of shit! All my life people have been telling me that, and I was right to believe them.
You don't mean anything to me. That doesn't imply you don't have good qualities. How can anyone like you when the majority of people don't even like themselves? Stop blaming yourself. Anyone who would labal another person 'a piece of s**t' clearly has serious issues of their own, and I'd take their statements with a pinch of salt.
All the best.
 
#13
I don't have feelings, I'm nothing. Anybody and everybody is preferable to me. I'm something to be used then discarded. I'm not good enough. I've never done anything worthwhile, and I wont be remembered for anything. Except maybe with gladness that I'm gone.
 

mike25

Well-Known Member
#14
I don't have feelings, I'm nothing. Anybody and everybody is preferable to me. I'm something to be used then discarded. I'm not good enough. I've never done anything worthwhile, and I wont be remembered for anything. Except maybe with gladness that I'm gone.
Human nature tends to use and discard things.... and people. You're not alone there. EVERYONE has done something worthwhile, and I bet if I spoke to you for 5 minutes, I could list several good qualities about you. Nobody gets remembered in the grand scheme of time. 99.99% of people are remembered by their kin for that generation. When that generation dies out, their memory is gone forever.
 

Jodi

Staff Alumni
#15
Mal, just want you to know you worthy and precious to us here....dont be so tough on yourself sweetie....sending you BIG HUGS and prayers!!!....
 

mike25

Well-Known Member
#17
Listen, you're blowing things out of proportion Mal. Glance at the latest news around the world, and see the atrocities that are occuring. You are surely NOT the worst person in the world.
 
#18
I am capable of such atrocities. And I wouldn't do it for political power, or revenge, or money. I'd do it for the sheer fun of it.

That's why I'm the worst person in the world. That's why I'm ostrisised by everyone, they can sense that I'm flawed inside. And that is why I need to die.
 

Terry

Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
#19
Mal!!! PACK IT IN !!! What did I say to u last night :mad: Stop taking this out on yourself. NO ONE would intentionally hurt someone as special as you..this is one of those unfortunate things that has inadvertently hurt someone. I wish that someone hadnt been you.
Now take it as read mate that there are heaps of peeps on here who think you're smashing and you'll just have to live with the fact that we loves ya no matter what you say or do!!!! :hug:
 
#20
Funny you should use the phrase "I'm not good enough" Mal. At my last T appointment I was assigned to write on that very subject. Who sets the standards for "good enough" Is anyone truly ever "good enough"? Well I think that what we do may never be enough, but it is good enough. Have you made a ifference in at least one persons life? I will give you that answer. The answer is yes. I can say that with confidence becdause you have made a diffence in mine. I am sure many here would post that you had made a difference in there lives in one way or another. So is it ever enough? No. Is it good enough? Yes. You are more than good enough Mal.
 
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