i was sent home for a panic attack

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by An Angel in Black, Mar 18, 2008.

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  1. An Angel in Black

    An Angel in Black Well-Known Member

    yep, the past two days of work havent been good ones, and today far worse than yesterday.. i ended up in tears and couldnt hold them back, so my manager who has bipolar stepped aside with me and started asking if i was ok and of course me being the pitiful basterd i was couldnt help but cry. anyway i ended up being sent home because of a panic attack. although she never hugs anyone cause she had an abusive boyfriend before and so is scared of guys esspecially, but she gave me a hug.. YAY!!!! lol i wish i were as strong or as wonderful as her.. i wish i were special, that someone loved me, cared for me, but i swear to god im getting really close. i was stabbing myself with a bobby pin yesterday.. and i have a 200 botle of pills ready to go.. i just feel so horrible. i wish i werent such a fuck up peice of shit worthless dumbass son of a bitch garbage crap good for nothing fuck up i am.. i think i need to go though, i really do.. i need to die, im so close, im not going to fail this time i promise.. if i have to drink comet for petes sake im not gonna fail..im not waking up in the ER.. my parents would lord knows what they would do to me.. they would beat the hell out of me for being stupid.. they would hate me after finding out im defective. they hate me now.. fuck this life..:sad:
     
  2. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    I am sorry to hear the rough times you've had at work recently. I understand how desperate you feel and wanting to take tablets. I've been there and done it so many times and don't know why I'm still here. I've been very close the last couple of days at trying again. Please don't take them you don't want to cause more pain to yourself or others. I've no wise words to say but I'm thinking of you and hope you don'tgo through with it.
    :hug::hug:
     
  3. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    I sent you a pm a while back, but I will say it again. If you ever need anyone to talk to, my MSN is in my profile. I have been having a lot of anxiety attacks lately and I know they suck. There are people here that care about you and don't want you to hurt yourself.
     
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Angel your boss understands and that is a good thing not a bad one. Try to talk to her, maybe she can share some coping strategies that work for her at work. I'm bipolar and know it is hell. I'm so sorry that you are suffering so badly right now, but there are people that carea bout you and love you. I'm one of them. Don t face this alone, let us help sweetie.
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please find the strength to hang on Angel. I know that the anxiety attacks are tough, but you don't have to kill yourself because of them. At least you have a nice and caring boss that understands that people have good days and bad days. Maybe you could talk to her about how you're feeling?
     
  6. falling_away

    falling_away Member

    I've never had a panic attack before but my sister has had a few. They must be awful. I'm sorry you've been having such a horrible time lately. I hope that your situation will improve.
     
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