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i was so good.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sd-239192, Sep 23, 2009.

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  1. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    its been months since i have carved into my skin. i have been productive, i'm building things now with the same tools i once used to try to kill myself. but tonight i have the one tool i fear the most in my hands, my big beautiful knife. i want it so bad, but i cant let myself do it...

    tomorrow is too important for me to end it tonight... why now, why do i need blood now? why cant this just stop! i want to be normal! i don't need this anymore! WHY DO I STILL WANT THIS!... why do i still think of carving, rending, tearing... i want these thoughts to go away, before they ruin me...
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    you ok? sounds like its because of tomorrow you want to do it. just stay strong. sometimes its our best days that make us want to hurt the most.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Try to stay strong; take things a few minutes at a time if you have to, just to get you through the night.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope today has come and you are well fought off the urges Call you therapist okay and let know where you are at get some support inplace when your though changes up like this
  5. drow21

    drow21 Active Member

    please dont do it please its so not worth it in the long run
  6. sd-239192

    sd-239192 Well-Known Member

    im still here, i dont know what happened to me last night. i'm sporting some fresh wounds on my legs though... today was my practice ASVAB test, i scored a 58, the average score is 32. its something to be proud of. i just hope i can keep it together...

    sd-239192 out.
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