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I was stupid to think someone could love me

#1
I'm transgender in Texas. My family rejected me when I came out in 2011. I have been fired, harassed and publicly humiliated. I have been homeless three times. I have averaged three jobs a year because I either get fired or they don't pay a livable wage.

After seven years of trying to date; bars and dating sites, I met my boyfriend last October. It wasn't picture perfect. He found me attractive but he didn't accept me as 'trans' and would out me to anyone and everyone within earshot. I told him how invalidating it was and eventually he came around. He moved in last month.

Two weeks ago my and my roommate's bikes were stolen, along with some tools out of the garage. He denied it. We had several fights over it and he maintained his innocence. My roommate moved out and I let it go.

Finally this morning it clicked. When he moved in he had tennis rackets and tents for camping. Pool floats and other junk. They're all gone too and he said nothing about it. All of that stuff was in the house. My roommate's drill was in the house, along with my Amazon fire stick. Gone. All of it. He did steal it.

I also have reasons to suspect him of cheating, too. A ring he gave me when we met, plastic, nothing fancy or expensive, is gone. He left his email open and he is on several dating sites. When we were fighting I looked at his phone and all of his text messages had been deleted.

I finally have a steady job that pays well, I finally have a home to live in and now this. What's the point? My life has been nothing but failure after failure. Humiliation after humiliation.

I feel stupid. I feel sick. I feel like there is no point to anything.

I'm making plans to get rid of my things and to rehome my cats this weekend. One less freak in the world.
 

WildCherry

Owner Emeritus
#3
You're not a failure. You have a home, you have a steady job. Those are 2 great things that you can build on. I'm sorry you were let down by someone who obviously has no respect for other people. But that's not a reflection on you. Please keep trying and keep talking!
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#4
Did he even notice that his stuff was gone? Maybe he's just not aware of it. Where would he store all the stuff if he did steal it, his previous place that he lived at?

As for the dating sites, I'm not sure if maybe he's just flirting with people or if he actually met up with anyone, but yeah, it does seem like he was definitely doing one or the other. Maybe he's not taking the relationship as seriously as you are. But why would the ring he gave you be gone?
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
Hey @stupidfreak I'm sorry you've been hurt by your boyfriend. You deserve so much better. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you. And we're glad to have you here.
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#6
Hello and welcome. Hopefully you will stick around and join in and find something that comforts you here.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#7
I'm transgender in Texas. My family rejected me when I came out in 2011. I have been fired, harassed and publicly humiliated. I have been homeless three times. I have averaged three jobs a year because I either get fired or they don't pay a livable wage.

After seven years of trying to date; bars and dating sites, I met my boyfriend last October. It wasn't picture perfect. He found me attractive but he didn't accept me as 'trans' and would out me to anyone and everyone within earshot. I told him how invalidating it was and eventually he came around. He moved in last month.

Two weeks ago my and my roommate's bikes were stolen, along with some tools out of the garage. He denied it. We had several fights over it and he maintained his innocence. My roommate moved out and I let it go.

Finally this morning it clicked. When he moved in he had tennis rackets and tents for camping. Pool floats and other junk. They're all gone too and he said nothing about it. All of that stuff was in the house. My roommate's drill was in the house, along with my Amazon fire stick. Gone. All of it. He did steal it.

I also have reasons to suspect him of cheating, too. A ring he gave me when we met, plastic, nothing fancy or expensive, is gone. He left his email open and he is on several dating sites. When we were fighting I looked at his phone and all of his text messages had been deleted.

I finally have a steady job that pays well, I finally have a home to live in and now this. What's the point? My life has been nothing but failure after failure. Humiliation after humiliation.

I feel stupid. I feel sick. I feel like there is no point to anything.

I'm making plans to get rid of my things and to rehome my cats this weekend. One less freak in the world.
Hey

I am not going address that boyfriend. He is toxic for you. Good riddance. Hold on. You got a good job and home. Gooooood. Half the battle. Now as for love and support. I have found birds of a feather flock together. There are organizations and including churches for LGBTQ. Have you tried them?
 

Walker

Admin-a-monkey
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#10
Hi and welcome to SF. We're really glad you're here. I'm sorry you've been having such a crap time with your "boyfriend" (I'm putting that in quotes cause he sounds like an asshole to me). You said he moved in and then your room mate moved out. Can you maybe get another room mate to live there and let this guy move out? He sounds like a dick.
 

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