Had a fight with my bf-again. He's been promising me a romantic evening for ..ever (broke up 2 months ago and got back together) Currently he's been going on a diet...he's too much into it,he's become obsessed....and it both worries me and pisses me off cause i can't deal with him talking about weight loss ALL the time when i'm gaining weight (was too skinny,and kinda had too gain weight...i dont like it though) So anyway today we were chatting on msn and he was cancelling the picnic we were suppposed to make...so i got mad (he alwyas cancells our plans ) this time it was at the excuse of "its too cold for a picnic" he said we can eat out - i was telling him all day i dont wanna go to a restaurant.he just totally ignored it i guess. He keeps making me feel worthless..at some point i called him and started crying and telling him i feel like im nothing ,just a nobody and that i'm worthless..he said something like "come on..." and i kept going at it...saying how much i hate my life and want to just bang my head against the wall till i bleed ( i was that frustrated)...i was feeling like my entire life means nothing... felt like i was being suffocated......i asked him if he's not gonna respond to it...I don't even remember what he said..I dont think it was anything smart. he said he'll be here at 9 (that's in 20 minutes) ,that was after we fought some more...I wasnt sure he is gonna come.i wanted him to come.i want to feel like i am somebody.. that i'm cared for. I called him a few minutes ago.to make sure he's coming. I was that close to actually telling him I AM sorry..just so we dont fight.so things will be ok. I hate it.hate the way my life seems to go. I'm so sorry for just going on and on about it...I just had to get it out of my system. thank you if you actually read it. writing this helped a little. hope he's coming.