I havn't been on this thing in a while, I just need some help coping. oo: I've heard that too many times, it's not fair. Shit happens, shit happens, yeah yeah, I get it by now. Shit happens, but why does it have to happen to me. I went out with a kid named Kurtis, it was a year and 2 months. He used me, wanna know how? The first time we went out, it was perfect, I'm not lying. It was one of those "Let's go see a movie then get icecream and walk around aimlessly" kinda dates. I thought kissing on the first date was moving things too quickly, so he kissed my hand. He was a gentleman to my dad, impressing my dad was the only way that i could see someone, and Kurtis did it, he impressed the unimpressible. He was it, our next date was two weeks later. Remember how I said that kissing on the first date was too fast? Wait until you hear this: My favorite food is spaghetti, when I went to Kurtis' house that night, that's what we had. I broke a plate with a fork, funny, right? I don't wanna say what happened, but it'll help me cope. We were sitting on his exercize machine listening to a song that reminded me of him *The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus : Face Down* and we kissed, two seconds later, we made out. It was the first time that either one of us made out with someone, so of course it was awkward. Then he touched me, not under the clothes, but over. I didn't know what was happening so I called my mom and told her to come and pick me up. I never told her what happened, and me and Kurtis never talked about how that bothered me. And I thought that kissing on the first date was too far, I never thought about the second. I was a newbie to everything, I didn't even know what getting felt up meant. Boy, I was about to learn everything. The next couple times we hung out, all that we did was make out and he would touch me. He never met my friends, my family, I never met his friends and I was a rude little bitch to his parents. His mom called me an ungreatful little bitch because I never prayed before I ate, I'm not very religious. We'll say about 2 months later, not even, he went under my shirt. I'm a girl with hormones, of course I liked it. I didn't know what was happening, I wouldn't let him look at me without a shirt on. I made him put a blanket over me, I wouldn't let him see me, I wouldn't stoop that low. Then he started touching me in the lower region of my body, over the clothes again, pressuring me to let him go under my clothes. I didn't know it was wrong, I liked it, I thought it was good. My mistake, right. Super Bowl Sunday he fingered me while he was watching the football game, he didn't even look at me, he didn't even care. I don't remember when, but we started fighting a lot after that. My best friend Jaysun told me to end it because it wasn't going to get better. He said that Kurtis was using me for sexual things, I didn't believe him. I should've. Then Kurtis started torturing me. He would get me horny and wouldn't do anything unless I touched him. It took me months before I wanted to, and he forced me. Every time he wanted it, he would force me to do it. Then he started eating me out and kissing my breasts. I don't even remember when it happened, I just remembered that I didn't want him looking at me so I would basically suffocate him with a blanket. Then he wanted sex. He pressured me, I never did it. Every time he pleasured me, he told me that it would be better if we had sex, that I would like it more. I almost said that I would, I couldn't deal with the pressure, but I never cracked. Then he wanted head, fricken asked my friend if she would give it to him, she said no, I dumped him after that. I was sick of the pressure and sick of everything. Now, I'm a fricken sex addict, and it's all his fault.. oo: But does it really need to happen to me?