I watched it

[shellz]

A little over a month ago, I watched my best friend committ suicide. I never expected him to do it. I knew he was having problems, but I didnt think he was seriously thinking about suicide. He was always the one there for me, he would be the one to pick me up when I was down. I was so shocked when it happend.

Im still seeing it, I still hear the gunshot go off, its not going away. When I do sleep, I will see him doing it all over again, and then I will be up for the rest of the night. It has really messed me up. But I am trying my hardest to deal with it.

Its just not fun doing it alone...

 

[theleastofthese]

What an awful thing to witness. I empathize with you for the pain and suffering you are going thru over your friends suicide. Of course it's not fun, or easy, getting thru this, getting past this alone. Have you considered getting professional counseling for the grief and shock? It may be just the thing you need to get thru this nightmare. Please consider it, it's worth a try.

love and hugs and hope,

least

 

[shellz]

Yes, I am in therapy, I was in the hospital twice after it had happend because I was not able to deal with it. They are considering diagnosing me with PTSD. They are pretty sure I have it, but they want to be 100% sure.

 

[itachi]

Shellz, You allready know that im totally here for you hun

:hug:

I know you can get through this sweetie
And i be with ya every step of the way
:cheekkiss :shy:

 

[Marshmallow]

Awwww hun thats a terrible thing to have to witness. I really hope the therapy works.

Please stay safe

Vikki x

 

[shellz]

I never expected that from him. He was always the one talking me out of it..Icant believe the sight I seen that night..its so horrible to see that in my head over and over again..it almost makes me want to do the same thing he did..

 

[gentlelady]

I can understand what you are saying shellz as I have been in that situation myself. The images return time and time again. I am glad to hear you are in therapy. Maybe they can give you some coping techniques to use when the thoughts come. I am thinking of you. :hug:

 

[shellz]

They have taught me some coping strategies when this happens, but some times it gets so uncontrolable. Like now for instance...

 

[Lonz]

I bet you'll be strong.

Lonz

 

[shellz]

im far from ever being strong...

 

[itachi]

You are Strong Hun

 

[shellz]

far from it. i cant even put the blade down. thats not being strong at all

 

[itachi]

Shellz, I have faith in you, I know your strong, I know you can get through this.

 

[shellz]

right now i feel like getting in my car and driving as far as it can take me..that or driving it into a tree...

 

[itachi]

Going For a drive might help, it has for me in the past, but no driving into any trees If you decide to you have to be careful, make sure you are not to upset to drive and make sure you have anuff petrol to get back.

:hug:

 

[shellz]

im to upset to drive right now. besides my therapist would kick my ass if she knew i was driving in a time like this

 

[itachi]

Then you better not then, hun

 

[Lonz]

My friend took an overdose, yet still took several days to die. Don't try anything to harm yourself! Besides, you're someone for us to talk to, here.

Lonz