I went to a group therapy thing today...

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Antiquitie's Friend
It was part of the unemployment program that I'm on. I signed up to talk to a therapist today. But I didn't say a word.

It was a group thing with about eight other people. The therapist started to talk, but she got about two minutes into her speech when my throat closed up and I started crying. I kept it in for 45 minutes because I didn't want to bawl in front of everybody. That's when I knew that I needed help.

I couldn't talk in the group because I was so choked up, but the woman left me her card with her email address. I just sent her an email saying that I wanted to speak but couldn't. I told her that I wanted help, didnh't really know how to find a therapist and had little money and asked her for help.

I only sent it ten minutes ago so it will take her a while to respond, but she seemed like a nice lady. I sincerely hope that she can help me find someone that I can talk to. I really need it. I think I just need to sit in a room, have someone stare at me, and then I tell them what a horrible shithead I am and cry a lot. It's a bit like going to the dentist: I don't want to do it because it's going to hurt, but it needs to be done.

I hope I can find help soon because things are going to be rather grim in December when my unemployment runs out and I have no job. Pray for me that I get some help soon.

I'm glad that my writing partner understands. Despite the fact that she's married to a bipolar husband, she doesn't think I'm too crazy to write and act with. She thinks that me getting help is a great idea and she's behind me. I was afraid that she would dump me because one crazy man in her life should be enough.



SF Friend
Staff Alumni

Good for you!!!:smile: :smile: I'm glad things seem to be moving along the road to wellness. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers regarding employment/income. When my unemployment ran out several years ago I had to pull my meager retirement money (only $12,000) and use it to meet expenses. I barely made it until I found/created work. You'll make it, I know. I hope you get hooked up with a good counselor/therapist soon so you can get the help you need. It can make all the difference in the world - I know.

sending you hugs and hope and support,:smile: :smile: :smile:



Antiquitie's Friend
Went to see the therapist for a private session. I was late because of the buses, but I called and told her so it was alright.

First time ever with a therapist. I downplayed my drinking a bit, but I did tell her I thought I had a problem. She thinks I might be clinically depressed.

She gave me some phone numbers of therapists who might be able to see me on a sliding scale and maybe get me anti-depressents.

She knew that I was out of work and couldn't really afford her fee, so the following conversation took place at the end of the session.

Her: You can pay me whatever you can afford.

Me: [waffling] Well... would you take 25?

Her: Yes. I would've said "yes" to anything.

Me: In that case, would you take 20?

She took 20. Nice lady who was genuinely concerned about me. This is going to be a long road. I hope some of it will help.

By the way, was offered a part-time job yesterday. I'll probably take it even though it is completely out of my field and even the guy interviewing me admitted it was boring as Hell. I have to check on bus schedules to see if I can get there for the shifts, some of which are at night. That's a bit of problem: I always fade out by 2:30 and have trouble sleeping during the day. There are pros and cons and I'll have to weight them and call him back next week.

Thanks for listening.


Staff Alumni
I think your moving in the right direction :) and you probably found a good therapist there. Keep with it.

The part time job will be a good thing for you...at least it gets you out of the house and around other people...no matter how boring it is. (haha not that I can talk because ive essentially just left my boring job).

Still a few extra dollars is handy.

Your on the right road....stick to it.
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