I will always be a reject and i dont know why

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymuss, Jan 22, 2011.

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  1. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    first off im 25
    I live in my parents basement
    Since 3 years i have had nothing but rejection in my life
    this is causing me to feel bored, jealous, violent, depressed, frustrated of trying and failing.
    I need any advice from someone who can tell me how to be and how to be loved.
    When im me im rejected that is the truth!
    Here is a list of things that proves it and that shows i cannot defeat this
    1) Since 3 years all the girls with no exception i have been hitting on have called me insane, were scared of me, or were annoyed by me messaging them too much cause i lack attention.. Not one girl on all the dating sites i was on has been seriously interested in me , i never had a nice laughing conversation...Makes me feel really ugly! In malls i rarely get girls interested in me. I'm 25 have 0 sex in my life and once again im at my parents house
    2) I got rejected by malls, grossery stores, a poor's house for people on the streets, girls (like mentionned), multiple jobs were i got comments that the people didnt like me. It seems that im only causing trouble where ever i am and that im annoying , boring, not interesting...my personallity basicelly sux and im hated on top of probably beiing very ugly..
    3) My dad never seems to enjoy my presence, my mom never answers me when i speak, my brother avoids me and thinks i'm mentally ill, my sister yells at me . I feel trapped in the house but insted of beiing scared and pushed around i keep trying to socialize but it seems everyone wants quiet and peace and im supposed to be happy inside my room with a laptop...either way when i sit with my family i feel disconnected aswell and want to be alone ..so i don't understand what to do ..Ive been playing a lot of video games andh it's not helping..
    all my job interviews fail cause the people don't like me.
    I want to be accepted and loved and have friendship
    I wonder what's the point of living if I cannot have one nice relationship with someone when all the feednback i get is i'm doiing something wrong. I want to know why am I always the one doiing something wrong!!! Why can no one understand me ? Please any advice i really feel alone in my boat, this has been goiing on from about 3 years. I want to change that i'm tired of seeiing people succeed in life while i'm fighting to have a small conversation and struggling to be respected by anyone...thx
     
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Maybe you need to see someone about learning how to communicate.. Like.. I was diagnosed with Autism once and I never used to speak and when I did I felt like people hated me because I tended to word things wrong to them.

    Maybe you should see if there is a councilor who can help you figure out if it is how your saying things, How people are perceiving what you are saying, or maybe you are misinterpreting how people are reacting.

    I hope things will get better for you. There is always a way for things to improve. Also, here you can make some friends. If you ever want to Message me I'm here. Also, you can join in chat and lots of people there are pretty nice.

    Take Care!
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Have you tried to get some therapy to help you be more socialable to find out why these rejections are happening I hope you reach out okay for support to help you change your life. Living in parents basement lots of people are doing that because of the economy hugs
     
  4. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    OK, if you want to have more light in your life, you have to let more light inside of you. You are so sad and so full of anger and hurt, that all you have inside of you are these negative, dark emotions. Which, believe me I do understand.

    Have you ever sought help from a counsellor or a doctor? You need to. Like Swift said, you perhaps need some help with how to express yourself in social situations.

    Take little baby steps and be kind to yourself. There is always someone here to talk to. I hope that you find the help you need.
     
  5. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    thx everyone for your time to reply!
    yes i have seen doctors and counselors none of them made me feel better about myself. Doctors follow a protocol and to me it is the wrong way to go. The human is much more complex than a bunch of theories and preconceived ideas...I know that i am facing rejection and that it cannot sometimes be avoided. What i have come to understand is that life and your past always defines your current pains . Sometimes you cant even point what is the real source of all hell. Sometimes you need to correct or act a way you taught was completely unimportant.
    For example , I have made some wierd changes in my life. I decided to pay my parents a 300 dollar rent for each month i live with a social aid bill. So far using this method has made me feel more normal and having to face normal concerns insted of beeing fed like a baby a golden spoon. I mean i have a dad that as a kind of asocial personallity i accepted it all my life and never really talked a lot to him cause he would get mad or tell me what im doiing is wrong or he knows better even if hes totally wrong. this has not helped my confidence in life despite i always had amazing grades. I dont even try anymore to sit next to him cause i feel shy wierd and im not comfortable of talking cause he could just tell me shut up to make me feel like i suck...So far my technique to feel better is to go to his face and say allright im shutting the fuck up each time i see him and its giving me more confidence. Like saying i can make it without a normal relationship with you wich i never really had.
    He the most generous , kind a warm hearted person but beeing with him just messed my head since hes like a tiking bomb that never explodes.

    all that beiing said i would like to give advice to people here that feel like me:
    I have a ps3 and ive been playing lots a games lately to change my mind!
    I listen to musik a lot !
    I help in the house my mom everyday in cooking , cleaning etc.
    it gives untill i find a job my life a purpose even thou i avoid my dad and brother who are both very asocial and have personalities that i have conflicts with. I just wish i had friends and could go out sometimes with someone. I dont know where to find friends since when i go out i start comparing myself to others and feel like im below the standards of having a normal life physically and maybe mentally.

    One last detail i wasent always like this, it all enflated 3 years ago after my septoplasty wich i believe resulted in a condition that is called empty nose syndrom. I am learning to fight that condition everyday and now i seem to have less tolerance for all the flaws in everyone elses personallities. thx i dont mind beeinng friends with anyone here and i rarely complain outside of this forum in real life even if my life sux so if you want to talk to me about anything be my guest
     
  6. cacophony

    cacophony Member

    if you want to pick up girls or have a good friendship, i would suggest you to make them want you instead of approaching them. find a quality that you are great at and show it off while being humble. what's the best feature that you have? i would suggest you to find a hobby that you like that involves outdoor and not video games. that way you can have stories to tell your future friends or gf. the world is a great place, you just have to explore it.
     
  7. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    I was misdiagnosed many times before an adult neurologist(I was seeing a pediatrics neurologist until I was 17 years old, I would be turning 18 in December)and he never gave a shit on what I told him, (and he was supposedly one of the "good" pediatrics neurologists out there) HA. What a bunch of bullshit. I was finally diagnosed correctly by an adult neurologist who ran some tests(unlike the pediatric neurologist) and seen that what I was saying eas right, I have been having grand mal seizures all my life, and the pediatrics neurologist ignored this, he just said it was anxiety from being bullied, no matter what I told him. Bullshit. I told the adult neurologist the exact same thing and he said it was due to seozires, both complex martial seizures AND Grand-Mal seizures(which I had in November 2008, a witch decided to make my life hell over that- see previous posts for more info). After this grand mal seizure, I was finally referred to the emergency department, but by the doctor on call, NOT the nurse that made my life hell, referred me to neurology.
     
  8. LipsOfDeceit

    LipsOfDeceit Well-Known Member

    Try to be more optimistic and don't be so harsh on yourself. If you want others to like or love you, you must first learn to accept and love yourself. Instead of thinking of all the negative aspects of yourself, focus on your positive side!
    Job interviewers may be looking out for certain traits like having confidence. Try to let them know your strong points and google for interview tips too! Good luck in getting a job and all the best in everything else that you do!
     
  9. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Hey, why do you think you're a reject? Aside from being "ugly" why do you think people hate you? Is there a reason for that? Have you played deadspace 2? It's an awesome game. What games do you play on the ps3?
     
  10. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    Hi, I don't think you are a reject, you are just struggling reaching out to people.

    You are only ugly if you think so, women don't care that much about looks, they care much more for a confident guy, if you are texting them, that means you are getting their phone numbers, which means they want to get to know you, next step is not to text them too often, leave them wanting more and they'll text you back, otherwise they will see you as needy person and stop contact with you as neediness is not attractive to them.

    Ask your family and friends how they see you and maybe you will find out what you need to work on and what already works to make a better contact with other real human beings (not online), I myself was raised with video games and still play them, but you have to get out, go to the gym, coffee, library, grocery store, say hi and make chitchat with everyone and soon people will be laughing and enjoying your company.

    Sex will come, maybe once you are married and find the right woman, don't worry about it, sex is not happiness, it's only a pleasure that goes away once finished, kind of like eating chocolate, look at it as if you don't want to be a sinner that soon would not enjoy it anymore.

    Will keep you in my prayers. :)
     
  11. anonymuss

    anonymuss Member

    yea i finished dead space 2 allready since I have so much free time I even started playing mass effect 2 (wich is one of the best games of all time). so much amazing games.

    I dont know how to make a girl want me anymore . Let me tell you that before i had false confidence were i use to walk and think so positevily and the moment i saw some good looking girls smiling at me i would think im something special.

    Ive been trying to live my life by listening and respecting what other people tell me. For instance where i am right now the rule is leave everyone alone and mind you own business. This is why ive been shuttting myself in the basement not talking to anyone for days too see if I will feel better than having people tell me u changed , people hate you, your wierd, you werent like this, shut up, your annoying , etc...so far ive been feeling more lonely and bored . I dont even have money to buy a bus ticket . The weather is snowy outside, im having trouble waking up before 1 pm. All i have seriusly that keeps me goiing thru the day is my ps3.

    Im also scarred of having friends cause where i live , people always comment and critize what I say, how I say it etc... They told me they hate me etc...i dunno im waiting for them to get better to have a better life . Anyhow im getting used to beiing alone. thx for your advices .
     
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