It's been 6 weeks and the pain is still there. I find it hard to handle and difficult to bare. You were a large part of my life, and you still are up to this day. You slipped out of our hands and I wish I had the power that would have made you stay. I wish I could have done more. I wish that you're still here. I wish you could have stayed to celebrate my 18th year. I wish that you'd be present, at all the events upcoming in my life. I wish you'd be smiling on the day I'd become a wife. I wish that I could hug you. I wish I could see you smile. I know this may seem selfish but I wish you were still here. I can't help but remember the last few days of your life. Wondering what you were going through. I still feel guilty at the thought of you in pain. Wondering if I could have done more. I feel so helpless and part of me has died. Not a day goes by where I don't sit and cry. Every night I go past your door expecting you to be sound asleep. But I look in and there's nothing then I begin to weep. You may not be here in person, but your existance sure hasn't died. You'll always be a part of me, in everything that I do. And I wish I could tell you, just one last time, that I will forever love you.