I wish i could cry

[IDontWantToDie]

Why...? i cant find motivation. Why do i get out of bed in the morning? Why do i do anything? Why try? Im slowly losing faith that i might ever fit into this life. My being is completely broken. I try to keep an open mind but i just cant see how could i ever function.
I am not sad, i am just nothing. I feel like there is nothing more that life can do for me. I am stuck. I am frozen. I am alone and losing it. I am starting to panic.
Some things fall and they brake. And you cant fix them. Emotional states change, come and they go... happiness is within. I think i have found hapiness in the moment, but at the same time, isolation is not a strate of health. We need to communicate and live. A balance is requierd. Sadly i am too boring, and unappealing to keep a relationship with anyone. I cant even small talk and im not the kind of person who will go out of their way to learn to fake talk to people. I feel like i should kill myself. I am a fucking fail. I should die.... i should fucking die.
I just feel like shit all the time after all... and i feel someone will come up to me and begin to tell me how fucking boring i am and that i should be more positive and i should talk more.... but im fucking broken. What do you want from me?
I just lost it. I cant breathe.

 

[Lifeisthis]

Its ok to cry and vent. You are strong for writing this and reaching out. Try to be kind to yourself. There is always time to start over fresh and meet new people and experience new things. Take baby steps is the best step to making a come back. We can't do anything about the past but we can focus on what we can do now in this moment.

 

[Anonymous ID]

I feel very similar. Thanks for sharing, I hope it gave you some sort of relief. I hope you one day find something that makes you happy and gives you a reason to live

 

[SummertimeSadness]

Hey man, I just want to say its ok to cry and its ok to vent especially here where people can help and support you always.. and don't ever say that your nothing or there is nothing life can do for you there are many things that life can do for people like you and for people like all of us... try finding something you love doing and would make you feel more happy and better. I could understand from reading your thread that you are going through alot but trust me it isn't your fault im certain. we are all always here for you and if you ever need to vent you are always welcome here at SF. Try doing something that really inspires you and dont give up! i have faith in you!

Hugs

 

[IDontWantToDie]

Its ok to cry and vent. You are strong for writing this and reaching out. Try to be kind to yourself. There is always time to start over fresh and meet new people and experience new things. Take baby steps is the best step to making a come back. We can't do anything about the past but we can focus on what we can do now in this moment.

 

[IDontWantToDie]

I feel very similar. Thanks for sharing, I hope it gave you some sort of relief. I hope you one day find something that makes you happy and gives you a reason to live

 

[IDontWantToDie]

Hey man, I just want to say its ok to cry and its ok to vent especially here where people can help and support you always.. and don't ever say that your nothing or there is nothing life can do for you there are many things that life can do for people like you and for people like all of us... try finding something you love doing and would make you feel more happy and better. I could understand from reading your thread that you are going through alot but trust me it isn't your fault im certain. we are all always here for you and if you ever need to vent you are always welcome here at SF. Try doing something that really inspires you and dont give up! i have faith in you!

Hugs

 

[Reaver]

I feel this, especially not knowing if I'll ever improve. I want to get better but I just can't ever find the motivation.

 

[IDontWantToDie]

I feel this, especially not knowing if I'll ever improve. I want to get better but I just can't ever find the motivation.

Yea, it sucks... I think we all know it's only in our heads, and we should focus on the moment. But its so freaking hard to do that sometimes. Most times. Probably, as someone already mentioned, the best way is to take microscopic steps forward. Eventualy it all should add up to something.

 

[Reaver]

Eventualy it all should add up to something.

One can only hope.

 

[iloverachel]

Why...? i cant find motivation. Why do i get out of bed in the morning? Why do i do anything? Why try? Im slowly losing faith that i might ever fit into this life. My being is completely broken. I try to keep an open mind but i just cant see how could i ever function.
I am not sad, i am just nothing. I feel like there is nothing more that life can do for me. I am stuck. I am frozen. I am alone and losing it. I am starting to panic.
Some things fall and they brake. And you cant fix them. Emotional states change, come and they go... happiness is within. I think i have found hapiness in the moment, but at the same time, isolation is not a strate of health. We need to communicate and live. A balance is requierd. Sadly i am too boring, and unappealing to keep a relationship with anyone. I cant even small talk and im not the kind of person who will go out of their way to learn to fake talk to people. I feel like i should kill myself. I am a fucking fail. I should die.... i should fucking die.
I just feel like shit all the time after all... and i feel someone will come up to me and begin to tell me how fucking boring i am and that i should be more positive and i should talk more.... but im fucking broken. What do you want from me?
I just lost it. I cant breathe.

I used to be the same! No joke, I contemplated suicide every single day and it was hell. If you have time you can read some of my old threads, life was torture.

I really don't know what I can do to make you happy but just know there are people on here who you can reach out too. A lot of us are in the same boat. I really wish there was something I can do to make you feel better but all I can do is comfort you and give you encouragement to not take your own life or hurt yourself.

Please stay safe and I hope you get better

 

[IDontWantToDie]

I used to be the same! No joke, I contemplated suicide every single day and it was hell. If you have time you can read some of my old threads, life was torture.

I really don't know what I can do to make you happy but just know there are people on here who you can reach out too. A lot of us are in the same boat. I really wish there was something I can do to make you feel better but all I can do is comfort you and give you encouragement to not take your own life or hurt yourself.

Please stay safe and I hope you get better

Thank you

 

[Gonz]

We need to communicate and live. A balance is requierd. Sadly i am too boring, and unappealing to keep a relationship with anyone. I cant even small talk and im not the kind of person who will go out of their way to learn to fake talk to people. I feel like i should kill myself. I am a fucking fail. I should die.... i should fucking die.
I just feel like shit all the time after all... and i feel someone will come up to me and begin to tell me how fucking boring i am and that i should be more positive and i should talk more.... but im fucking broken. What do you want from me?

So, at the risk of sounding cocky, I used to have similar insecurities and found that they were mostly unfounded, as I think they are for most people.

I mean, I really fucking hated myself and assumed that anyone else forced to endure my presence would feel the same. So I made myself small and quiet and easily avoidable and unnoticeable, and my continued (self-imposed) isolation was proof to me that I didn’t deserve a social circle, much less actual friends or a relationship.

And, like you, I just wasn’t capable of small talk, and a lot of socializing felt very fake (which it is) and I wasn’t too inclined to try to be that kind of person.

But there was a point where I started getting better at it and while I didn’t exactly become a social butterfly, I did gain enough confidence to build the sort of social life I needed. I don’t know if you want advice; sometimes it feels like you’ve heard it all before. But if so, I’d be happy to share some little things I learned, ways I learned to be, that turned things around for me.

 

[KM76710]

Cry, vent, let off of steam and frustrations all you want here, it can often do a world of good for youself.