I'm male-to-female transgender. I've been on hormones for three and a half years, and I still look like a man. People still call me "sir", and it really hurts. Yet when I see pictures of others' progress, they look like women after a year or so. I can't take it anymore. I've been in pain for so long that I'd rather be dead than a man. I just don't have the courage to kill myself. I wish I did, so that the pain could finally end. I only have a few friends left, who I don't see often anymore. My parents live in the same city, but they don't accept my gender issues. They refuse to go anywhere with me if I'm wearing sandals because of my painted toenails. Other than that, I can hang out with them because, after all, I look like a guy... I see a therapist every week. I see a psychiatrist, and am on 2 anti-depressants. They don't help enough to make me want to live. I sleep most of the day on weekends simply because I don't want to be awake - it's too painful.