I wish I hadn't been born

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by nik89, Apr 9, 2015.

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  1. nik89

    nik89 Member

    Mornings are the worst for this. Mornings are the worst for suicidal tendencies. Sleep is a welcome reprieve. With sleep, I don't have to think about the catastrophe my life is. And that's why suicide is so appealing. It will be like sleep, except forever. I drink a lot. Last two weeks I've been drunk every day. When I'm sober, the thought of not existing for eternity does scare me, but when I'm drunk, it doesn't. And that's why I'm certain when I do commit suicide one day, it will be when I am drunk, as when I'm in that state of mind, I lose my self-preservation instincts.

    There is only so much I can take. I'm so tired of feeling like this. Happiness seems as far away from me as the sun and moon are.
  2. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    rejoice in small things!!
  3. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I had a good life until I was 40 and I'm grateful for that, but with the way that I feel now, I wish that I'd never been born either. I used to have such a sharp mind and now I just feel like a vegtable. It really scares me to feel this way and I just want it to stop.
  4. little lucy

    little lucy Active Member

    Does drinking help you at all? Or does it make it worse? For me drinking helps me feel less suicidal, but for other people they are more likely to kill themselves while drunk.

    I am opposite of you when it comes to suicidal thoughts. Idk why. In the morning I am okay., sometimes even happy. Night time is when I want to die.
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Drinking may not be a good solution to your issue. It acts like a depressant
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi nik89 (I'm guessing we were born the same year lol ). Drinking IS and WILL make your depression worse. When drunk you lose fear and inhibitions, feel invincible, you are playing a dangerous game with the alcohol. Are you actually addicted to alcohol or just drink sometimes to relieve the emotion turmoil you are going through? Please keep talking to us here. When I was younger I drank quite a lot and it made me so much worse and even violent to the point I cannot drink at all now, please don't make the same mistakes I have. We are here for you, as cliche as that sounds we really are here for you.
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