Mornings are the worst for this. Mornings are the worst for suicidal tendencies. Sleep is a welcome reprieve. With sleep, I don't have to think about the catastrophe my life is. And that's why suicide is so appealing. It will be like sleep, except forever. I drink a lot. Last two weeks I've been drunk every day. When I'm sober, the thought of not existing for eternity does scare me, but when I'm drunk, it doesn't. And that's why I'm certain when I do commit suicide one day, it will be when I am drunk, as when I'm in that state of mind, I lose my self-preservation instincts. There is only so much I can take. I'm so tired of feeling like this. Happiness seems as far away from me as the sun and moon are.