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i wish i was dead

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aao, Sep 4, 2014.

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  1. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    im tired of living. im sick and tired of life. i cant deal with all this. my ocd, depression, anxiety, adhd and self-harm are just too much for me to handle. i know ill never get out of this hole. im all fucking alone. all fucking alone. no one gives a fucking shit about me. no ones ever there for me. i have no one i have nothing. im unemployed and dont feel like i can work at any job. i dont want to work at all. i just want to die. just fucking die. i think so much about death and suicide. all i do is sleep and cry and feel like shit. and this fucking absolute loneliness never leaves me fucking alone. im a piece of shit and a total failure in every single fucking way. i know that when i decide to kill myself all die all alone. i just see no point in fucking staying here. i wish i was fucking dead and buried so bad.
  2. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I can relate. Like sucks!

    I have OCD, Anxiety, and Self Harm, as well. Nobody gives a shit about me either and I'm unemployed, as well. I'll die alone, too.

    Be angry, and let it out!!! You sound pretty wound up. Do you have a doctor?
  3. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    have you got some sort of income/benefit?
  4. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Still Here for you my friend, always! I'll never abandon you - promise! PM please, no need to reply to the thread if you aren't up to it. Your life is precious, to me!
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there. How are you feeling today? Obviously you were very upset and feeling very bad the other day, hope it has improved...if not we're here for you. :hug:
  6. SplinterStar

    SplinterStar Well-Known Member

    so do i.
  7. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Fight the cloud in your head, know it all too well, myself......
  8. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    I have not been working for some time, so I can relate to most, if not all of those feelings that you have just shared here.

    Keep on posting, continue to share with us, aao.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 8, 2014
  9. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    i feel so fucking sad and lonely and empty. i cant go on. these feelings fucking never leave me alone. on top of everything, im all fucking alone. i really, really wan to cut. im a little high on xanax, but it doesnt help. i still feel fucking miserable. its like i feel like crying for hours but the tears wont come out. i just wish i was already dead...
  10. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about being high on Xanax. I know you are alone. I'm right here for you, right here. Don't leave me AAO, I would be crushed. Let me help you man.

    I'm right here for you. Hugging you right now.
  11. Hey man, please don't cut, we are all here for you, Shout, curse, rave, get it all out, all these feelings you have
  12. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    You logged off AAO. We are here for you ALWAYS; PERIOD!

    I love you, Harold loves you. We all do, know that. Sleep my friend, and let the Xanax give you some rest. Don't Cut, and you better be here tomorrow!!! HUGE HUGS.....
  13. Hey man, please don't cut, we are all here for you, Shout, curse, rave, get it all out, all these feelings you have
  14. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    Thank you so fucking very much W and Harold. I'm feeling a bit better thanks to you guys. I didn't cut. I love you too, guys. *HUGS*. Thank you.
  15. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I'll never leave you AAO, and so glad you didn't cut. I'm always your friend, know that. Sleep tight, and I'm holding you in my arms.
  16. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    i want to be dead. i took a shitload of xanax last night. i wish i had the balls to od... im sick and tired of this motherfucking piece of shit stupid useless thing called "my life". i just wish it would end. i want to be in nothingness. i want to end. i think im going to fucking cut

    just fuck this shit. fuck it

    fuck it all and fuck everybody.
  17. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    Keep posting aao, you know we will be here to listen. It hurts really bad. Yeh pour it all out, don't stuff them inside you. I don't know, maybe go to a beach (where there are not many people but still safe) and shout your lungs out.
  18. aao

    aao Well-Known Member

    fuck it. fuck it all. fuck this fucking shit. i dont know why the fuck i bother on staying alive. i dont understand. i have no one. i have nothing. theres no reason for me to stay alive. im going to cut. why the fuck not. i have nothing, no one. ill never get out of this fucking hole. no one gives a shit about me. why he fuck did i have to be born at all? fucking joke. im fucking tired. i fucking give up. i hate everything. i want it all to end. im going to cut now, i guess.
  19. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you stay safe ok cutting will only cause you more pain you do not deserve pain you deserve only kindness hugs
  20. fosty

    fosty Well-Known Member

    I understand too what it feels like to be utterly alone. I've never met you but i'll hold you in my heart anyway. please don't give up on yourself and on having compassion for yourself
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