I've wished it since as long as I can remember. I've tried to act on it since my first attempt, either at nine or eight. Eight I tried to choke myself. Nine I tried to hang myself. Either way, it obviously failed. I've tried so hard to disconnect from reality. I've tried to hard to block everything out. I've tried so hard to make it stop. But nothing ever works. I want to die. So much. I know I am like, hated on this forum. Alot. I know that people think I'm a selfish bitch on here. I'm sorry I come across that way. I've changed alot since a few months ago. Well, I never stop changing I guess. One day I'll be the angriest meanest fucked up bitch ever, the next I'm trying to help someone not hurt themselves, I never do succeed though. I'm always the one that hurts them. I keep ranting on and on. I'm sorry. I just, this is a suicide forum right? Well, I'm suicidal. :unsure: I wish to join my nan. I miss her.