I'm almost 18, I've never been in a relationship, I've never kissed a girl, I've never held hands with a girl. I want to do all of these things so badly, but I know I'm lightyears away from it ever happening. I don't even know how to build a friendship with a girl, I find it hard enough doing it with a guy. I've recently built enough esteem to think that I'm moderately good looking, I dress fashionably and try to present myself (body language mainly) in a way that isn't ostentatious yet isn't too withdrawn. But none of that matters if I don't feel I'm worthy of a girl's attraction; I never go out with friends (not through choice, I just don't get invited), I don't drink alcohol, and to people who don't know me I 'feel' like I exude unsociability towards them, although unintentionally. I just want a world without mind-games, pre-judgement and having to go through a whole 'process' just to get to a point where I can express my feelings toward someone. I want to walk up to a certain girl in my history class (who I've only spoken to once, ever) and tell her she is the most beautiful, sweet, modest, honest girl I've ever seen, and how every time she laughs it sends shivers down my spine because it is the most adorable sound I've ever heard. However I know if I did that, while she is also quite mature for her age, she'd think I'm quite strange / some over-confident player who's not being sincere, because that is what most people would think and I don't blame her. But a random stupid act like that is probably the only way I'm going to get a girl, because I'm completely incapable of forming a friendship with a girl and slowly moving it on to something more serious. Sorry for the rant, I'm just venting frustration and hoping I'll be reincarnated into a world where I can just say how I feel and not end up worse off because of it.