I wish I were never born

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mollyc1983, Jan 24, 2015.

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  1. Mollyc1983

    Mollyc1983 Member

    Fellow suicidal peeps, are you ever really pissed off at your parents for even bringing you into the world? I really, really wish I had never been born. I hate myself, I hate what has happened to me, I hate the fact that I told my parents vague details of what happened. I was kidnapped, raped, and tortured by a known serial killer and my family has no idea and my parents asked me for a police report when I told them. I wanted to vomit. I hate life. It doesn't help that my mom has been an abusive alcoholic my entire life and my earliest memory of her is her cussing at me for ice cream and zipping me up in a suitcase. Motherfucker! Why does life shit so hard on some people and make them feel helpless in their most desparate hour?!!! I just want to kill myself but I haven't the balls to do so and I'm reaching out for that last grasp of hope. I feel no reason why I am here. I am a Christian and do believe in God and Jesus but will I go to hell for this? I hate to put my family through it but I'm sure they'd get over it as they did with u kidnap, rape, and torture. Fucking A I hate myself and everyone who lives in this. I hate this. I just don't want to be in misery.
  2. Mollyc1983

    Mollyc1983 Member

    Really who's going to read this and be like, "No don't do it! I love you!" To a complete stranger? I'm retarded for getting on here. I already created my will to leave everything to my niece. I'm done. This life is a joke. The woman who calls herself my mother, had no right to raise any children and a fucking serial killer kidnaps me and tortures me?! Wtf! Why was I brought here?!!!
  3. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Hi, I guess people are more scared to respond to anger than depression, loneliness, or mental health issues.
    Your anger is palpable and I hope you do not carry out any bad actions during a time of severe stress and anguish.
    There are so many things you can do but first you must get yourself in a calmer state to fully understand and absorb help. Right now you need to seek immediate help to prevent this from getting worse for you.
    " do I love you?" Yes as a human being, but I don't yet know you as a person. Maybe if you continued posting I could get to know you and help a little better.
    Keep posting so we can help as best we can even if it is just support for you.
  4. Multiple Man

    Multiple Man Well-Known Member

    My mom told me the same thing....
  5. Mollyc1983

    Mollyc1983 Member

    Good morning all! Thank you for the sweet words and replies. I didn't go through with it. I wanted to but I was just being a butthead last night and needed to vent. Thank God for this forum and for you guys being on here to talk to. Just wanted to let you know I'm ok and if any of you need to talk, I'm also here.
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hey molly, glad you re still with us
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    If you need to talk, I'm here. All of us here have times we just can't cope with, it seems you have been through so much, so feel free to talk to us/me :)
  8. kangaroo2

    kangaroo2 Active Member

    No need to call yourself a butthead. This is the perfect place to vent.
  9. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    Glad you made it through the night ok. Thanks for posting and letting us know.
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