I wish it was over now...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ThoseEmptyWalls, Aug 3, 2008.

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  1. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Im feeling total hell right now.. I just want it to end. Its been 3 years and theres no end in site.. Life thru its first curve ball at me when I was just a little girl - I was sexually abused. Then growing up I just got more abuse from others and dished it out on myself as well.. Now I really am in hell..Flucking cps office up my ass since my baby was six months old. They wont leave me alone. I was flucking fine until they started to bother me. Now Im worse then ever. I just tried to cut myself with a pair of siccors but they were to dull and wouldnt even break the skin..I wish I had a gun so I could end it all. No one needs me.. The people I love I just hurt and everyone would be better without me. If they didnt have to put up with my shit or hear me talk my crap all the time their lives would be good. Sure they would miss their daugher, their granddaugther, my friends may miss their friend, my son would miss his mom but in the end they would be better off. Im not getting any better..Shit lastnight I had to go to ER because I was freaking out and needed meds. Im sorry if this doesnt make much sence..Im just in emotional distress right now and wish I were dead...
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello TEW's,
    Are you receiving any psych help? Are you seeing a therapist? Just from what you have written I sence alot of anger. It is controllable but you have to be willing to do the work. Between seeing a doctor, therapist, and the meds, along with the support you will receive from us you can turn your life around and then you and your son can be together again. Take Care and seek the help!!!!
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi ThoseEmptyWalls. I'm sorry to hear that child protective services is giving you such a hard time and that you were abused as a child. But you're wrong in believing that your family would be better off without you. Your parents need their daughter and your son needs his mother. Everyone has their flaws. Our flaws are a part of us. Being abused as a child changes a person and makes them act in various ways. I wasn't abused as a child, but I was bullied in school and that really hurt. Also there is a section in this forum specifically for sexual abuse, where others have posted about their abuse. Please don't give up on life. It can get better. :hug:
  4. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    hi TEW,
    it sounds like you are in so much pain at the moment and im really sorry to hear that. As has been asked, do you have the support of a psych?
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug: :hug: I'm just about to send you a message, hang in there sweetie. You have heaps of people who care about you, myself included, and I would be devastated to hear of anything happen to you.
  6. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Thank You..Your one of the best friends I have made over the years *hugs*
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sorry to hear you are in such distress right now. Do what you need to do to hang in there. I am proud of you for getting yourself to the ER last night for help. You have worked hard to stay here. Don't give up now. :hug:
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Keep your chin up hun,the sun will shine through the cloudss soon. :hug: only a pm away if you ever need to chat.
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