I Wish My Boyfriend Would Understand Me! Help! :(

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Strawberry_Gashes__x, Jan 22, 2007.

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  1. I have recently been diagnosed with depression and stress. i am not indenial of this fact. i've been bullied all my life, never really had stable parent figures, i self harm, i have lost a lot of family members since i was only young,and im finding it hard to cope in year 11. soo yes i feel as nobody really understands i self harm. i have told my boyfriend about this because he found out and i felt he had a right to know. but know he blames himself and he tells me maybe i should leave him as he is the cause. which he is not. But sometimes him doing this doesnt make me feel better at all. i dont want to leave him. that will not solve anything. im just so confused. i need decent help. :( :anyone:
  2. BrokenPieces

    BrokenPieces Well-Known Member

    he may feel responisble for it...

    but you have to remember, he doesnt know what your going through completely, to know what you are feeling... try and take it a step at a time with him, and see what happens...

    hes just needs to listen to you, and know what your feeling... dont hold back on that feeling part...
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    hi. i have a boyfriend too, and when i told him about SI he´s got crazy, and we tryed to talk about it, alot of times. there was a time when he yelled at me, then he didn´t want to talk about it at all, there was a time when i hide from him my scars and now he ask for me to tell him whenever i feel bad so we can talk about it. You should remember that SI is not something that a lot of people do, so may be it´s hard to understand the reasons. But if he feels responsible is because he loves you and he want the best for you, so i only can say that you should try to talk to him the times you need to make him understand he´s not responsable of Si, make him understand that if he is with you, youcan get better, tell him he is part of the solution, not from the proble. i hope this help you at least a little bit. remember you can pm me at any time. Take care;)
  4. PressedIn

    PressedIn Well-Known Member

    what broken said goes, if he feels responsible for the self harm you should explain how it isn't. He really should understand.

    BTW I like your name, and that song :)
  5. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    Your boyfriend probably feels so very happy to be with you, and more complete for having you in his life, it is hard for him to understand why you do not feel the same way. He believes that his love should be enough to make you feel happy and that if it isn't then you must not truely love him. You need to explain to him that what you have is a disease, which cannot be cured over night, and that his love for you is a great positive influence in your life and does help you to cope better, but that it alone cannot make up for the damage you have suffered in the past.

    You do however need to try not to push him away everytime that you SI, else he will invariably see a connection.
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