it was 10 years ago that i tried to take my own life. i had gotten into an argument with my dad about the phone being cut off. it was a $3,000 bill that i couldn't pay. my feelings were that $3000 is worth it for me to have a single friend, a girlfriend even. 4 hours later my mom found me on the couch. i remember thinking why am i not dead yet. sometimes i wonder if i actually am dead and this is the afterlife. nothing changed for me. i was diagnosed with cancer. nobody seemed to care. only one person called me. my gf and i dated for 7 years until she fell for another guy.